All the Stuff… 5 (In Which I Love All Of You)

All The Stuff

I love you guys. Seriously. Every one of you. Sometimes you are lucky enough to feel so much support. So much love. So many people trying to lift you up. Last week I felt all of that.

Last Monday marked 15 years since my brother had died from Cancer. It was a day I dreaded. That morning, through tears, I wrote a tribute to him. Funny stories and memories. It felt really good to write it. I did it to force myself to laugh even though I was sad. I did it because he always wanted us to “remember him with a smile.” And it helped.

What I didn’t expect was the response. From so many people, here on my blog and on FaceBook. From phone calls from friends who’d read it. I had so many comments that were supportive and tender. People saying that they felt like they kind of knew him after reading what I wrote. People laughing at his antics, people commenting on what an amazing person he was.

I spent the day getting these comments. I spent the day wiping away tears, overcome with warmth and emotion. I felt completely lifted up by all of it. I wanted to hug random strangers. I felt something… something I’m not sure my writer’s heart can describe. But it was wonderful.

The feeling stayed with me all week. I realized a few days later that it was kind of like a memorial service for my brother. Only this time I wasn’t in shock. This time I wasn’t keeping a death grip on keeping it together. This time I could hear it and feel it and absorb it.

So, thank you. All of you.

That is all.

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22 Comments

      1. Only cos I don’t think I’ve managed to get here quick enough before now! I’ve been WAITING to claim frist on your blog 🙂

        (in fact…are you SURE I haven’t managed it before? Fie on me, if not!)

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  1. Now I’ve read it (okay, I cheated to get frist) I am SO pleased that what you wrote was such a healing experience for you. And I am thrilled to pieces that the Blogosphere came through for you so completely awesomely and made you feel so held and cared for.

    Blogosphere WIN! You rock, Gretchen 🙂

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        1. *widens eyes and tries to look innocent* Moiiii? I cannot begin to imagine to what you might be referring!

          *grins*

          Now I feel like I’ve sullied your lovely post. Hope it was good for you, too 😉

          (wait, whut?!)

          And GOOD. That’s nice to hear. ‘specially as I know I have a LETTER to write to you soon 🙂

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        2. Squuueeee!!!

          I have to tell you, remember how my little one was enthralled with your Fairy Stones on FB? Well, lately she’s been drawing little pictures with notes and packaging them up in all sorts of containers to leave on the doorsteps of her friends on our street. It totally reminded me of you…

          Liked by 1 person

        3. Ohhh she’s ADORABLE! I should SO DO THAT! I could make them and bring them HOME from the beach, and leave them in unexpected places for people to find…WOW! 😀 That’s brilliant 🙂

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  2. I just went back and read the post about your brother. I missed it last week. I have tears and love his sweet face on those photos. It makes me wish I had a little jesus-hiding brother! What special memories you have and how kind of you to share them with us.

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  3. OH and I totes forgot to mention last week (it didn’t seem really that apt, either) but with the Jesus-hiding; there was a tradition of that in my house, too. There was a soldier who had to be hidden in the bathroom; a monkey with magnetic paws who had to be hidden somewhere easy to find, and then moved; and a fake cat which had to be hidden so it wouldn’t be found for the longest time.

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      1. Now it was me and mum and sometimes my sister who used to do it, and no – I think it was just for fun. We all just somehow created the rules without ever talking about it, and all started playing 🙂

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  4. Isn’t it amazing what a supportive community we have here? I’m so glad for the support you received and that it filled your heart. That’s amazing.

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