Your Silence Is Deafening: An Open Letter To the Target Boycotters

target

I hear you.

You’re angry.

I get it, I’m angry too.

I’m not talking to the people who are angry at Target because their Pro Transgender bathroom policy flies in the face of their cherry picked moral compass. I’m not under any obligation  to respect their beliefs. 

I’m talking to you… the people who have no issue with sharing a bathroom with LGBT people. I’m talking to those of you who are speaking out about this bathroom policy, expressing concern over the women and children who you fear will be in danger because of this policy.

You’re reasonable people. You aren’t expressing hate or bigotry. You just worry. You worry about your kids, your wives, your sisters. I worry too.

I probably worry too much. I have always accompanied my younger kids to the bathroom in public places. When my son was too old to go into the women’s room, I would stand right outside the Men’s room door. If he was taking a while I would yell through the door, asking if he was ok. So, yes, I’m that mom.

I worry. I have always been a little leery of public restrooms.

But I’m not boycotting Target and I’m no more worried about my kids’ safety than I was before.

Even though I’m a worrier, I read and I research. Facts help to calm my fears. Facts that show that in states with pro-Transgender bathroom policies, there has been no increase in assaults. Research that leads me to find an article by a Sexual Assault Victim’s Advocacy Group that is stating very clearly that pro-Trans bathroom policies do not increase the danger of sexual assault for anyone. They in fact minimize it for LGBT people.

What I see is a lot of fear mongering going around. Stories of men sneaking into the ladies room, emboldened by these laws. Stories that have proven to be false.  And some that are orchestrated to incite more fear.

So, I’m going to try to say the rest of this gently because to be honest, it’s all got me worked up and more than a little angry. It’s got a question bouncing around my head for the last few days… one that makes me angrier every time I think it…

Where have you been?

You say you are concerned for women and children. That the thought of sexual assault in a Target bathroom is so concerning that you may boycott, that you are forgoing your usual pleasant FaceBook anecdotes and memes to shout about the new policy…

Where the hell have you been?

You, the protectors of women and children. Where have you been when we’ve been writing and talking about rape?  When some of us have been shouting about these things for years, begging for people to listen, to care. To see the pain and destruction of these things that plague our society.

When we’ve been the ones to make you feel uncomfortable because we are invading your mindless FaceBooking and Tweeting with rants about injustice and startling statistics of rape that should have any sane person’s hair standing on end?

Where were your angry voices when a Presidential candidate suggested that women who don’t want to be raped shouldn’t go to parties?

When actual real life Congressmen claimed that rape victims can’t get pregnant because their body “will shut that down.”

When a court rules that oral sex is not rape if the victim is unconscious from drinking?

When a state legislator in Tennessee is ordered by the TN Attorney General to stay away from women at work because he is a danger to them?

Where were your petitions? Where was your concern? WHY AREN’T YOU SHOUTING ABOUT THESE THINGS???

Where were you when yet another woman was killed by her abusive husband? When a mother was beaten repeatedly. When the “system” that is supposed to protect her allows her violent husband to keep his gun , which he then uses to kill her and her children? Where has your concern been for the 3 women murdered every day by their intimate partner?

Where were you when your favorite college or professional sports hero was accused of rape? Or caught on video beating his wife? Are you still a fan of some of these guys? Do you still cheer them on? Where was the moral outrage to a society that looks past it because he can throw a ball and win games?

Where were you when R.Kelly was allowed to perform, put out another album, collaborate with famous pop singers? Even though he was accused of raping minors and committing cruel acts and even video taped himself doing these horrific and illegal things? Did you stand up and protest then? Did the account of a 15 year old girl’s “disembodied stare” at the video camera as he assaulted her not make you angry?

Where was your angry voice when a rapist was sentenced to 45 days for raping a 14 year old girl?

Where were you when girls were slut shamed after coming forward about their rape?

Where is your loud voice standing up for the homeless women and children? When the U.S. has largest number of homeless women and children among industrialized nations? Is the Target bathroom more of a concern than a mother and her children sleeping in their cars? Or on the street? Or bouncing around homeless shelters?

Where was your self righteous indignation when a child was killed at a park playing with a toy gun? When the police officer who shot him within seconds of arriving on the scene was let off without being charged?

Where were you when a child was shot because his radio was too loud?

Where were you when a child was killed after walking home from buying Skittles? When his murderer was acquitted and went on to make assault two different girlfriends and threaten them with his gun. That he’s still allowed to own.

Where were you when these children were killed? Because I didn’t hear any of you then. I didn’t hear a whole lot of yelling and hand wringing for these children who were mowed down by white male outrage and misguided fear.

When we speak or write or Tweet about everyday sexism and rape culture -that you damn well better believe gives rise to rape and assault- you shrugged. Or rolled your eyes. Or looked away. Or clicked “Unfollow.” Did we make you uncomfortable? All of our ranting and raving about the insidious nature of a society that views women (and hell, children too) as commodities, did it make you feel icky?

You see, I care about women and children (and boys and men) outside of the Target bathrooms. I care about them at home, at school, on the bus, at work, on the street. I care about them regardless of how they’re dressed, regardless of their economic class, no matter their sexual orientation. I care about them when they are being victimized and the world just looks on in apathy.

Those predators you’re so worried will sneak into the Target bathroom? They’re all around you.

They are your Priest, your kid’s coach, your neighbor, your uncle, your youth group leader, your United States Speaker of the House.

They are a savvy bunch, these sick bastards. They flock to places where they can gain your trust. They go to great pains to appear normal and friendly. They don’t sport a beard and a dress and waltz into the bathroom to attack your women and children.

And I can’t help but question concern that only seem to flare up when it’s anti-something. When it’s an “alternative lifestyle.” I question the motivation. I wonder, where the hell have your morals been? Where was your moral outrage when kids were gunned down and college girls were sexually assaulted and women serving in the military were being raped? When women and children were murdered by angry husbands? When restraining orders were granted but in reality offered no protection. When women were threatened online with violence. With rape. With comments like “I know where you live and I will find you and kill you.” Comments that are generated because the woman had the audacity to speak up or write or actually just do her job.

Because I haven’t heard from you about these things. I haven’t heard of petitions or moral outrage from the masses on these things. I haven’t heard much from you at all.

Until now, your silence has been deafening.

So excuse me if I find your newfound activism a little disingenuous. Excuse me if I am rolling my eyes over the furor over using a public restroom. Excuse me if I’m a little worked up over the idea that the “problem” is a Target policy but not the fact that women and children have to be careful and on guard because of a culture that has encouraged male entitlement and subversive sexism and blatant sexualization.

The “problem” you’re screaming about is not the problem. The problem is your apathy all these years to the reality that you refuse to see or acknowledge. It’s a lot easier to believe in the boogey man in the Target bathroom than the real threat that is woven into the very fabric of your Made In the USA security blanket.

Excuse me if I’m a little put off by a flurry of chicken scratched signatures on a fear mongering petition. Excuse me if I think your priorities seem a little slippery.

Because until now? Your silence has been deafening.

1,347 Comments

  1. I am a member of the LGB community. 5 -10 years ago i probably would have agreed with the author, but not now. I have seen too many friends targeted by trans activists, especially online, with death threats, rape threats and horrible verbal abuse, just because they believe females have a right to gather on private land or spaces without male bodied individuals being present.

    The target policy is a very slippery slope. Its not just restrooms, its locker rooms, its prisons, its any space that is sex segregated. Yes, these spaces are segregated by sex, not gender. The reason they are sex segregated is do to male violence. This is the same reason that male to trans people dont want to use male restrooms. . .male violence. I have yet to see a female to trans person fighting to use the mens rooms, again. . .male violence. Lets name the real problem here.

    Studies have shown that male to trans commit violent crimes in the same persentages an non trans males. Males convicted of rape are demanding to be housed in womens prisons, wanting taxpayers to pay for their surgeries and hormones. Females have a right to be free from preditory males, reguardless of their gender, or how they identify.

    I resently attended the Womens March on Washington, and was horrified that one of the main stage speakers was a male to trans, who has publicly admitted, on line, to having raped a female to trans friend, with the express purpose of getting her pregnant. And they gave this rapist stage time and a platform to speak at the womens march. Male to trans comments following the march were so misogynistic, they felt the pussy power signs and hats were transphobic because to them “not all women have pussys, or vaginas, or uteruses”. Yet the preditor in chief didn’t brag about grabbing their penises or scrotum, he bragged about grabbing women by the pussy. So, if it is transphobic to even mention female genitalia, where does that leave women? When we can not even name our bodies, our organs without getting harrassed, are we to go back to invisibility?

    Last, but in no way least, the trans community lost my support when many male to trans started harrassing lesbians who refuse to consider them as romantic or sexual partners. Lesbians are female homosexuals, women who are attracted to other females. It is not transphobic for a lesbian to say no to a male to trans. And when male to trans claim to be lesbians, sorry, but no. If you are born male, and attracted to women, you are heterosexual, reguardless of your gender identity. Born males can not be lesbians.

    So when people say “we just want to pee”, no, it is about much more than that.

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  5. Interesting how I stumbled into the article. I saw the “Open Letter To Target” title.. it’s late at night, so I gave it a read as I did understand it was about the recent ‘bathroom’ issue.for transgenders. I think the article is pointed and well done and I appreciated the viewpoint. But it’s all the crazy comments and replies that made me a tad incensed.

    Again, the same as with all this race issue, being an older white guy, and straight, somehow makes me feel unqualified to even venture into discussion since I’m not part of any of the social victimization. If anything, my demographic is usually considered part of what’s making every other demographics life impossible. Damn my persecution!

    I must be a stupid idiot on this subject so bear with me here as I am neither female, gay, transgendered, or black (just trying to cover it all here). So let me get this straight (uh.. no pun intended).
    1. Public separate sex rest rooms are normally never locked.
    2. I never knew there were any laws prohibiting men/women from entering each other’s domain to begin with. I mean, after all, women have stalls that can be locked so I dunno what value it is for men to poke around in there anyway (yes, yes, I know it’s happened but that’s been very rare). Both men and women are likely too embarrassed to be in the same men’s room together watching what flops into the urinal (thank gawd for Victorianism!). Am I right?
    3. Given that, I presume the risk for perverts and pedophiles to enter either rest room with reckless abandon prior to any law, would be the same if there were a law?
    4. Also, if a transgendered-in-progress person goes into a ladies room would they not also retain privacy by tinkling (or whatever) in a locked stall?
    4. Soooo… if all that is true, then why the hell is there some argument about it all when there are far more important things in this country to worry about than who’s pot one can piss in without attracting perverts??

    But, hey. What do I know. I’m white, male, straight, and obviously a member of the demographic responsible for holding back another social minority from expressing themselves. Jeez.. I’m surprised we haven’t heard from the perverts yet!

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    1. I agree. but, i know you probably didnt mean this as such, but transgendered is actually a highly insulting word for trans people because its a defining noun and reduces our existence to just us being trans.

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  7. Rather than reply, it’ll be better to make a new comment as this responds well to many other comments here and not just one as well as the article itself.

    The matter is quite simple and to best put it into perspective is to bring up a different element within the LBGT community and that is to bring the other three letters (particularly the L and G) into this.

    Do gay guys use the women’s washrooms/locker rooms? Do gay women use the men’s? Of course the answer is no to this but have you ever asked why?

    The answer is simple. The segregation has nothing to do with sexual orientation. It has to do with what you have on the outside of your body. So it should go without saying that just as sexual orientation doesn’t dictate which washroom you use neither should your “feels”. In this case what gender you feel you are (aka what gender you “identify” as).

    If you identify as female but you have the outward body of a male, you use the male washroom. Once you get a sex change to get an outward body of a female then you use the women’s washroom.

    This isn’t about denying rights. Nobody is being denied any rights. This isn’t about people being transphobic. This is simply a matter of personal safety.

    Do yourself a favor just to get a little perspective. Do a search for ‘spy cams in the bathroom’ with the adult filter turned off and the results will both shock and disgust you. Given the American population, even if every single trans person were to be assaulted in a washroom simply for being trans, it would still pale in comparison to the number of women who become the victim of assault or a victim to the results of the earlier mentioned search.

    While there are no cameras inside washrooms, there will often be cameras outside the washroom aimed at the entrance. For a guy entering the women’s washroom it means being caught on those cameras. If we allow people with an outward appearance of male into the women’s washroom simply because that person says “I identify as a women”, it give the perv men an excuse to be caught on those cameras. It nullifies that evidence in an assault case bringing it back to a simple ‘her word against his’. It makes it easier for the pervs to be pervs.

    Nobody is calling trans pervs simply for being trans. That’s not the case at all. This is about the pervs (who are likely straight, non-trans, males) simply lying about being trans when they really are not just to gain access to the women’s bathroom.

    The discomfort of some trans and the small % of those who are the victim of some form of aggression toward them is the lesser of two evils. Allowing people to enter the women’s washroom simply because they say they identify as female (and vice versa for the men’s washroom) may alleviate the discomfort but it won’t reduce the number of victims within the trans community. If anything it is more likely to increase the number of victims both within and without the trans community.

    Is that really something you want?

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    1. I..i…this makes literally no sense. firstly people ARE saying trans people are pervs and pedophiles. secondly gay and lesbians dont use the other washroom because THATS A SEXUALITY NOT A GENDER. massive difference

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      1. First off, please point me to where people said that it’s the trans themselves that are pervs because all I see are people saying that the change only makes it easier for pervs to be pervs.

        Regarding “sexuality” vs “gender”, if you have the body of a male but “feel” female, then that isn’t all that different to sexuality. Neither are a matter of choice yet both boils down to signals firing in your brain. The ‘feeling’ of attraction to members of the same sex, and the ‘feeling’ of being the other gender than what your physical appearance dictates.

        So just as sexuality doesn’t dictate which bathroom you use, neither should what gender you feel you are. Instead you use the one based on the gender you physically are.

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  8. After reading it is clear that you are indeed agenda driven while you have valid points linking this to Target’s Policy which just the announcing of their agenda gives perverts and flashers a reason to be in the other sexes restroom or changing room make no sense its apples and oranges just trying to blur the real issue, this announcement I believe puts women and children at risk for their safety and privicy!

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  9. Writer claims to have an open mind, then accuses everyone else of not caring as much about women’s issues as she does. Nice.

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  10. My husband and I were discussing this and his whole line of questioning to me was “Why? Why do transgenders find it so important to go to the women’s bathroom?” My husband is a smart, caring person, but he had only imagined a group of people angrily demanding rights. It took me saying “Honey, they’re scared too.The men’s room can be a really scary place for them” for him to even see that viewpoint..

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  11. This is asinine. People do speak out about these things, myself included. The fact that you think no one else does shows the limited bubble you have chosen to live in. My response to this is simple. Let me get this straight, so I fully understand, because there is danger in the world for women anyway we shouldn’t concern ourselves if some stupid politician does something to increase that danger? Those rapists, people that would assault your daughters, people that would take pictures of you in the toilet, and so on can now walk into a public bathroom claiming they are transgender, and no one can say or do anything to stop them. Do you believe for even a second that there are not going to be a LARGE number of sexual predators who will not take advantage of this? If so then you are naive. The fact that there is already danger out there should spur you on to try and DECREASE the dangers, not add to them.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. I’m gonna come at this from a few different angles. First, as a supporter of the LGBT community, as I have friends who are gay and proud, struggle with identity issues, and who have undergone expensive, horrifically painful surgery so they can feel “whole.” I respect their beliefs, their views, and their right to pee.

    I am also going to come at this as a victim of a few of the attrocities you mention that I have faced in my 32 years of being a woman. I understand fear. I understand violence. I speak out now because it hits close to home.

    When I was very, very young, my grandfather crossed so many boundaries that I knew what sex was by the time I was 4, and it took my mother coming home early one day for that to come to a screeching halt. She reported him. He was incarcerated. I never had much of a relationship with him, and was not sad when he passed away. He used to send me birthday cards with a $25 check, and in his final years, would send them with pictures of himself as a young man in the navy. I wish I could have known him, but to me, he will always be a monster.

    In my mid-twenties, I was raped by a very close friend. We were drunk. I trusted him. We had previously had a relationship, but he knew I wasn’t interested. I woke up with a hangover and bruises on my wrists and thighs and he was obviously ashamed. We were drunk. We were close.

    It was still rape. I have to live with that, and so does he.

    My ex-husband was manipulative and wanted me to gain an incredibly unhealthy amount of weight. I didn’t know that he would ask this of me before we were married. I suffered that, too, trying to please a man who told me he loved me. His family was unsupportive and hated me because I spoke up when I disagreed. His father was a drunk and his mother a woman who had no control in her life, physically or financially. He was NOT happy when I filed for divorce, and to this day still thinks we were a great couple.

    I never knew true anxiety until my last long term relationship ended. During the 5 years we were together, I was going through school and had very little money or freedom. I felt really trapped with a man who was depressed and manipulative. I ended it and wanted to see someone else. Fear drove me back, and less than a year later, he got a woman at his work pregnant. I left, stronger this time. Until she lost the baby, and I took him back, even though my friends and family shouted at me to let him go. I couldn’t hear them, and that was my failure. He was sick. Depressed. Needed me.

    And when I had finally had enough, I left for a final time, but not before he cornered me physically for over an hour. I had never felt fear OF him until that point, and I still get anxious when I think i MIGHT be in the same area as him.

    These were men I knew. Trusted. Enjoyed days with that will live on as great memories. I CHOSE to be around all but one of them. All of them failed me in ways that have left me with the scars of a survivor.

    I do not ask for pity. I ask for people to open their eyes and really LOOK at what goes on, even behind your own closed doors. Your home bathroom is “gender neutral,” and don’t respond with “but I only let people that I know and trust use it!” Have you ever had a party where you invited people to bring a friend and someone new set foot in your house? Or a repair man had too much coffee and needs to pee? Do you make them go outside and use a tree? Or do you shrug and say “yep, down the hall, second door on the right”?

    And don’t think a transgender man doesn’t know what it’s like to be a girl. He started that way, and likely has far more respect for you and your children than you give him credit. Trangender women, at least the ones I known, are kind and considerate, and all they want is to love someone. Most of the gay couple I know have children that are well taken care of, happy and healthy and allowed to simply be children. They should NOT be punished because some book you don’t really follow unless it’s convenient says so. God didn’t write the Bible. A bunch of MEN did.

    “Gender neutral” removes archaic boundaries set forth by practices many of us have interpreted to fit our own lifestyles. I have had some pretty awful experiences in my life, and I do NOT fear sharing a bathroom with a man/transgender person, and I find myself questioning why anyone would want these boundaries in place when they stunt our own developement. Our double standards are ridiculous. Men in Scotland wear kilts, and it’s “manly” but a boy like the color pink and suddenly there is worry that he might be gay. A girl is lorded over and taught she is “less than a man” her whole life, and when she finally speaks out, she is a “lesbian” or a “b*tch.”A transgender person who has gone through a lifetime of trying to feel “right” or “whole” knows well the struggles you will face in accepting their existence because they have had a hard time accepting their own.

    Honestly, just stop and think. Just because you can’t always see from someone else’s point of view doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist, and being respectful sometimes means giving support, even against things you “know” to be true. It could be your son or daughter that faces the things this article speaks of. It could even be YOU. There is nothing more infuriating than people that only speak out when something goes against things they fear and don’t understand, or choose to remain ignorant to the world we have created because they simply think “it won’t happen to me.”

    Thank you for writing this article. I see a lot of support to the cause of being a rational human being, and this was great. 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

  13. I did a blog post similar to this a few years ago. I feel the same way. These people don’t actually care about these issues. They are trying to force their prejudices on others. It infuriates me what abusers get away with! Yet, few seem to care. I don’t respect those people at all. They don’t give a flying falcon about what happens to girls in bathrooms. Is they did, they would have spoken up long ago. They are just uncomfortable with Transgender people (even though they might meet a Transgender person and never know it). So they try to find away to never have to see a Transgender person. To them, if we don’t see them, they don’t exist. That’s not okay!
    http://homewithmommy-fran.blogspot.com/2013/09/when-women-are-victims.html

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      1. Just because this law was passed does not mean straight guys are going to all of a sudden use the ladies room. If someone wants to do harm to someone else in a restroom, a law isn’t going to stop them. So I just don’t understand why this is an issue. The reason this is scary to some is because most of us will never truely understand what it’s like to be a transgender person. We need to support each other, show some understanding and compassion, and ask questions, instead of immediately and automatically saying awful things and cutting each other down. I’m so tired of the hate we see from each other in social media. I’m sincerely not trying to be melodramatic, but I’m sick of us destroying each other. I like to think most people are inherently good and genuinely want peace. I’m hoping others understand what I’m saying, while others might say nasty things.

        Liked by 1 person

  14. How do you or can you possibly know what any of these folks boycotting Target, because apparently that was the catalyst for your anger, are protesting about in the name of women????

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    1. That’s an easy question to answer. The protesters are very loud about whhy they are boycotting…to any one who is listening.

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  15. At what point in time did a micro minority obtain the right to dictate the morals, rights and laws of the majority? One of two things is going to happen to Target. They will close their doors forever or they will can their CEO and reverse a policy that caters to mutants.
    KA-BAR, making a man into a woman so their won’t be any questions.

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    1. Fortunately, hopefully just to spite you, neither will happen! People like you are the reason a good chunk of the population is terrified to leave their homes, knowing that at least behind their front door they won’t be assaulted without cause. We’re people too, our DNA is still the same so we’re not “mutants”, as you called us.

      In fact, we’re better people than you, as you’re not showing any humanity at all.

      Liked by 1 person

    2. No “micro-minority” is dictating anything to anyone. The members of the LGBT community are simply asking to have the rights guaranteed under the Constitution. LGBT population is heavily discriminated against, despite the fact that their identity issues are real.

      It is actually they who are being dictated to: You cannot use the restroom most appropriate to your identity.

      It is difficult for me to understand the pictures that these bigots have running through their minds. A good percentage of the time one isn’t even aware a transgender person is present.

      And by the way, what are all those stalls with doors for?

      And my town’s two Targets are going gangbusters, thank you. But then, I suspect we live in the 21st Century rather than the 19th Century time-frame in which your mind seems to reside. But then, how can one respect the opinion of one so afraid that he/she hides their own identity by being “anonymous”.

      I don’t usual engage in commentary on people afraid to stand behind their own words. So I naturally wonder at the reality is of your identity. Is the realty that you’re a teacher with bigotry in your heart? A cop, who is supposed to support LGBT people but hates it? A politician whose career would tank if your constituents knew your bigotry? Or just a good ole boy redneck who wants the little woman in the kitchen cooking dinner, barefoot and pregnant, and bringing you a another brew while you watch Ultimate Fighting?

      Whatever the truth, “Anonymous” gets two thumbs up for bigotry, intolerance, and cowardice.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. LOL, there goes the name calling. When you can’t win on any other merit, there’s your go to. Leave it, it is so old it’s not even funny. The point is not that transgenders can use a bathroom it’s the fact now that a straight man can go in and no one can say shit about it. Get it? I’d rather live in the so called 18th century than the twilight zone buddy

        Liked by 1 person

      1. More than likely nothing will happen because fortunately (or unfortunately depending on your perspective) idiots like you, a minority by the way, have a very short memory.

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  16. My thought is that this is a fantastic article. Unfortunately the ones boycotting Target will not read it. They are busy worrying that a Transgender person might use their restroom and spread their germs so that more people will become a Transgender person.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Little benongst to most people! We have “ALL OF US” have been going to the bathroom with transgender people for probably my re than 50 years, and never cared to notice or discuss this subject! No one cared, now all of a sudden everyone Care’s! Amazing hypocrisy! 😦

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      1. MaDE up word for a liberal fool. We may have been going to the restroom with transgenders as long as you say but that is not the question that we’re talking about we’re talking about perverts that come in and molest little girls or little boys with cameras or whatever is on their mind Target open the door for these people to commit these kind of crimes if everything was okay as you say with the transgender why did they even have to change the laws another nauseating post

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        1. “if everything was okay as you say with the transgender why did they even have to change the laws”

          Maybe you should try asking the republican fools who decided to make their bigotry a matter of law?

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    1. Bs. Bs. Bs. Until you have a man poking a camera at you you will change your tune especially with kids. This is liberal nonsense . No one said transgender are committing these sex crimes it’s perverts target opened the door wide for. Your perspective is nauseating

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  18. It’s mindboggling how a pervert like Obama can command a nation and fool millions of people like this writer with lofty words but twisted logic. This is the “foolest” generation.

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  19. Oh boy, even the quality of our distractions is declining. The sad truth is that the transgender population is a statistically insignificant minority. Estimates put their numbers below 1%. Somehow we are supposed to get all worked up about where such a tiny cohort pees rather than focus on true problems like creating money out of nothing, rampant government corruption, and economic ennui.

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  20. Where have I been, you ask. I’ve been working with the mentally ill, the survivors of sexual abuse, and the addicts who struggle to set down and walk away from their substances, because they have issues related to trauma, abuse, and rape, and they find taking drugs and drinking alcohol easier than facing those issues. Since 1988 that’s where I’ve been. ( But thanks for asking.) I’ve been working with people whose boundaries have been shredded by selfish people who thought what they wanted was all that mattered, never mind the other person. I’ve been working with the people who will find the admission of males into female bathrooms, as a severe and intolerable violation of their privacy and safety, to such an extent, many of them will stop going shopping not only to Target, but to any store that adopts this policy. I’ve been working with the children who’ve been raped, and forever live in anxiety and fear any type of situation in which their safety is not absolutely clear. I’ve worked with children who won’t use a public restroom at school now, because they are so fearful. How do you think they will get over their fear, if the opposite sex starts hanging out there?

    And this isn’t about the LGBT community, nor is it about Christianity. There’s no need to attack either one. It’s about common sense, safety, privacy and boundaries. We aren’t afraid of lesbians in the ladies room, they’ve been there all along. As long as they aren’t having sex there or showing themselves off in otherwise inappropriate behavior in there, we don’t mind them. ( And I’ve never seen any being inappropriate in there so I don’t even know who they are, nor care.) They’re just women like us, but they have different preferences… We aren’t afraid of gay males dressed as men, in our ladies rooms because they go to the men’s room, willingly and without argument. Most of the bisexual people tend to go to the bathroom that is intended for their biological sex. It’s the trans people this is about. Do we hate them? No, absolutely not, neither transsexuals nor transvestites. In fact, Madea is one of my favorite movie characters. And while Tyler Perry is one awesome looking, brilliant man ( and I know it’s him under that Madea dress), I still don’t want him in the ladies room with me. Nor do I think he would attempt to use the ladies room, except maybe in the movies where everyone in there would be an actor acting a part, and therefore consenting to the situation. As for Trans people who dress as women for other reasons besides making some of the best movies ever seen (as Tyler Perry does), I don’t want them in the ladies room either. If you have a male body, I simply don’t care what gender you feel like you are or want to be,or wish you were, or plan to become, you have a male body, you need to use the male restroom, or if you are currently in drag, and uncomfortable with the men’s room, then use the third restroom, the unisex/family/individual restroom. Then you, the transformer, (who chose to dress in drag, nobody made you) can feel safe, and so can women and children in the ladies room. And for the record, it isn’t the true transsexual who we are afraid of, it’s the predators who will use this kind of policy, as a wide open door into the girls/ ladies rooms, both restroom and changing rooms, in order to access women and children. It’s a matter of safety for women and children. No woman feels safe in a restroom or changing room with any man, other than her husband/mate, around. No female child will feel safe dressing in a locker room at school, with even one boy in there. Same for restrooms. That sense of insecurity and danger is normal. And think about young girls. It’s normal for them to be uncomfortable dressing in front of other girls , at first at least. And many remain self conscious and uncomfortable with this throughout their school years. Especially since most locker rooms are one big room with no privacy anywhere. Imagine being a girl child/teenager and how it would feel to have to undress in front of a boy or boys. Most girls couldn’t stand that! Now, consider the women and children who have a history of sexual abuse, how safe will they feel in a restroom or changing room/locker room, with people of the opposite biological sex? Not at all. It is a clear violation of a child’s or adult’s boundaries to have anyone (other than a mate in the case of the adults) in the room with them, when using a rest room or locker/changing room. In that regard having a boy or male in the female dressing room, locker room or restroom is sexual abuse to all the females in there! Let me say that another way. Forcing a female to change clothes or go to the bathroom in front of males, is a form of sexual abuse, and having a male choose to undress in front of females is also sexual abuse to the females there. Why? For the same reason it is offensive, sexually abusive and illegal for a man to take his penis out in public and show it to women who did not want to see it. Exposing oneself to people of the opposite sex who are not consenting to this, is a form of sexual assault! Make no mistake about it. And nobody cares what gender that male feels like he is that day or any other. If he’s a male biologically, 99.9% of the females do not want him in our private spaces. As for your statistics on how this has not increased attacks on females, I don’t know where they came from, none of this business of letting males in the ladies rooms has been done long enough to have valid statistics. Those of us who have worked with those with a history of trauma and sexual abuse/rape, know that there are plenty of pedophiles and other predators who would ( and will) take advantage of any and every opportunity to access females. Far, far too many girls and women already are sexually abused, need we make it easier for this to happen?

    And yes, I know boys and men can be abused too. Which is why my sons were required to go in the ladies room with me until they were large enough to go in the men’s room alone, when my husband was not present. This was before family restrooms were available. And even then, I stood near the door and yelled at them periodically to see if they were ok. They both also knew if they didn’t come out promptly, I might come charging in, ready for battle. (I never actually had to do this. But they knew I would if necessary, and they knew they would be embarrassed if I ever did have to come in there, especially if they were ok, just dawdling.)

    As a whole we are not as concerned about females in the men’s room, because most females wouldn’t want to go in there, unless it was empty, and the ladies room line was too long, and their need was urgent. I admit that I have seen a group of females commandeer a men’s room at a festival, when no men were in there (and they gave a few shouts out to double check for emptiness first). Then,a woman stood at the door to keep any men from going in for the few minutes it took to take care of the women’s room line, then it was returned to the men, generally within a minute after the first man showed up with a need for it. Other than that one occasion, or occasions where the mens room and ladies room were both individual use type rest rooms, and the mens was empty while the ladies line was growing, I have never seen ladies go into a men’s restroom. Some teenage boys might like it if teenage girls came into their restroom or locker room, I’m guessing. But do we really need to encourage this? Do we need more teenage pregnancies resulting in abortions or unwed mothers? That is what happens when teenage boys and girls get naked together. One thing leads to another and babies or abortions follow. Are we ready for that? I don’t think so. So no matter how you look at it, allowing opposite biological sex people into public restrooms and changing/locker rooms is not acceptable.

    If this policy of allowing men (who claim they feel female) in ladies private spaces becomes standard practice, several things will happen: 1) Homeschooling will explode. Most parents will NOT tolerate having children of the opposite sex in their child’s restroom or changing/locker rooms at school, and many parents will take their children home to home school them, specifically to protect them from this sexual abuse. 2) Stores that institute these policies will see sales drop and stores without these policies will see sales increase. If it becomes standard at all stores, women will revert to on line/catalog shopping for 95% of everything, and will buy perishable foods at farmer’s markets,etc. Less shopping overall will happen, hurting the economy because most women like me, will do without ( or make) many things before shopping at stores we feel unsafe in, or at stores we know do not value our safety. I’d rather wear last year’s ( and the 5 yrs before that) clothes than shop at Target. I’d rather make clothes than shop at Target. I’d rather wear Goodwill clothes than shop at Target. I’d rather order clothes on line, or by phone than shop at Target. I will never again shop at Target. See the pattern? Notice most of it is making do with what I have. There will be a lot of that. 3)There will be a sharp increase in assaults upon the women and children who are in the restrooms where men are allowed, and this will include an increase in the number of missing children because any predator can find a way to walk right out with them! (I won’t say how this is possible, they don’t need ideas/help.) 4) There will be a large increase in the number of people needing mental health services including therapy, psychiatric appts, medication use and services for drug addiction/drug abuse. 4) The number of teenage pregnancies will increase. 5) Health clubs/gyms will see memberships crash! Since most women do not want to be in a locker room or restroom with any strange males, (regardless of whether they wear a dress and false eyelashes and bra or not), most women will cancel their memberships before they will undress in the presence of strange males. 6) The number of women carrying loaded firearms will skyrocket. Many women if faced with going into a restroom of a store, where men may be hiding in stalls, or may come in while we are in the stalls, will only shop in a store when they absolutely must, and will go in armed, no matter what the sign on the front door says. Or else we’ll all line up outside the family/unisex bathroom, and the line will be very, very long. 7) Shootings will increase. When frightened women who are packing loaded guns, feel threatened, there is a high risk of somebody dying.

    You’ll notice I’ve make a point out of the fact that trans people have a choice. If a person wants to dress in drag, they choose that, nobody forced them. It’s a matter of personal choice, and I do not deny them that. I personally often wear men’s jeans, (they seem to often be made better),and I usually wears men’s sneakers, because they are wider and fit my feet better than ladies. I have even been known to wear men’s tee shirts on occasion, especially when I find them cheaper than ladies. So, I admit to wearing men’s clothing at times. But then I use the ladies room. Because I have a female body. The fact that I’m wearing men’s shoes, jeans, and/or tee shirt does not change my basic biology nor where I belong. I can choose to dress male, but it doesn’t make me male. What I feel like is irrelevant. I feel like I should be a rich person, does that make me rich? No, it does not. Nor does it give me access to and use of fancy cars houses, or jewelry. I feel like a lot of things, that doesn’t make them real. But how people choose to dress is about transvestites not transsexuals. Anybody can dress in the clothing of the opposite sex. Pedophiles and other predators will certainly do that in order to take advantage of children and women. That’s why we can’t let them have that opportunity. As for transsexuals, like Bruce/Kaitlyn Jenner, ok, he was male, he’s had the surgery to be female now. So I guess I should say she now. Would I want her in the ladies room with me? Not particularly, but I wouldn’t fight that or complain about it either. She was clearly convinced enough of her identity as a female, to undergo the surgery required to become female. So in many ways she’s done what it takes to make her biology match her ideas/feelings. However, the men with male biological bodies, who claim they feel like/or are female, but they remain male biologically, do not belong in the ladies rooms. The men who are in the process of becoming female biologically probably need to use the individual use unisex bathroom for their own comfort level as well as that of the people who are not in transition, but are fully one sex or the other. And yes, I’m aware that I may have been in a restroom at some point in time, while a male who was dressed as a female, was in there and I was unaware. If that is the case, so be it. If I wasn’t aware, I wasn’t made uncomfortable. It is not the true transsexuals who pose the greatest danger to women and children, it is the trans-posers who are predators who are the real danger. But anyone who appears male in anyway, and is in fact male, breaks the boundaries of every female in the room, just by their presence, with the exception of small male children, which females have always welcomed in the ladies rooms with their mothers out of necessity.

    Now ask yourself. Is this really what the LGBT community wants? Is this what the rest of us , the majority wants? Are you all ready to completely change the way you live, just to keep your women and children safe, while being careful not to hurt the feelings of the rare men who choose to proclaim their gender as female? I know many women already carry guns often, are we ready for all women to carry a gun every time they go shopping? Are we ready for women to do very little shopping? Are we ready for the rights of women and children to matter so little legally, that women feel they must go armed to go purchase items the family needs? The bottom line is there are excellent reasons for biologically specific and separate restrooms and changing/locker rooms such as safety, privacy and maintaining appropriate boundaries between the sexes. We need to maintain separate facilities for each sex and keep those rare individuals who don’t choose to accept their biological sex out of the facilities they don’t belong in according to their actual bodies. In many places there are individual use restrooms available for either sex, or families, and those should be used by those who aren’t comfortable using their own actual (biological) sex restrooms, including those in transition.

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    1. I see now I used #4 twice, that’s what happens when you get interrupted and fail to proof read carefully. My apologies for this oversight. The message, remains the same.

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  21. Hey gay is in now days. It does not take a strong person to do what everyone is doing I promise you. People say they been going in which ever bathroom they wanted anyway. Gee I wonder what all the commotion is over then? Half the peoplease that are transgender have been molested at some point and it’s been proven most people that have been molested are more likely to do it. BTW that’s not a REAL lock on the “stall” door that was just so out there.

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  22. I hope that it’s the people who think like this that prevail in the world. It’s scary to think that the men who write up these stupid laws. Kill children. Rape women… Are going to be the ones eventually take humanity down… Not to say women are the most innocent of creatures but it is a man’s world and it just gets worse every day.

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  23. Being one sex and thinking you are another is a mental disorder and should be treated as such, rather than catered to. A person is either XX or XY, no matter how they play dress up. It can’t be changed. People and organizations mandating the widespread enabling of this mental disorder is sociopathy at it’s finest and shows a lack of moral responsibility and social conscience.

    http://cnsnews.com/news/article/michael-w-chapman/johns-hopkins-psychiatrist-transgender-mental-disorder-sex-change

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    1. “A person is either XX or XY, no matter how they play dress up”. You are only partially right. Yes us humans are a two gendered species. Male and female. Yes this comes down to XX or XY. The biological system in place is much more complex than that. Anomalies occur. For instance, people born with both sets of genitalia. Also XXY, because of the Y, is considered male but may develop breasts during puberty. However, there is more that determines what gender we are. There are hormone levels (Testosterone vs Estrogen). It’s even been determined, despite everyone having a unique brain, that male and female brains differ. So you can have someone born male with higher than normal estrogen levels which may be accompanied with lower than normal testosterone levels and they may even have a brain with some characteristics unique to females. All of which are to varying degrees. You could say “no, you have a Y chromosome so you are male” and then have them undergo medical procedures and therapy and take hormone supplement but what is being overlooked is the mental well being of the person. It is much more beneficial for the person to receive the medical procedures, therapy, and medication needed to have them be the gender they identify as. The result is basically the same, you have someone who is either male or female for all intents and purposes, the only difference is whether or not the person is happy or miserable.

      The real issue are those identity political nut jobs who want to be identified as ‘Xr’, or ‘them/they’, or whatever the latest identity fad happens to be. These people are either just trying to fit in with their social click (following the trend), are resentful towards society and want to be different and stand out (possibly just be difficult to others), are resentful of their own humanity, or it’s a coping mechanism for something that happened to them (what I like to call the ‘Chuunibyou’ effect).

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    2. You… cited a known and very vocal discredited doctor. You have researched this topic enough that you cherry picked this one guy our of THOUSANDS of doctors who disagree with him. You already have all the facts and you are not just trolling people to spread your hate or just do it for the laughs.

      So either A) your a hateful bigot that picks and chooses their morality
      or B) your a idiot savant who is clueless but managed to grab the one doctor who actively lies so that children commit suicide
      or C) your a troll.

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  24. If you enjoy topics like this then I invite you to join my channel, Raw Orange, as I talk live about hot, controversial events that are going on in our world and this transgender issue with bathrooms, well I have a lot to say on it and want to give my personal opinions on what I see….as of right now, not saying I am for it or against it, because with my show, along with personal opinions on whatever topic I am covering, I bring interesting facts to life and this right here….well is going to be a fun one to discuss

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  25. Where are your cry’s of outrage when Muslims can marry little girls and rape them,rape Christian women,beat,burn,torture,stone and kill women,murder LGBT people.You seem to be ok with that because you don’t seem to have an issue with Obama bringing them here by the thousands.

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  26. when I was 14 years old, I was grocery shopping with my mom, and I went to the back bathroom. Within a minute of going in the stalls, two men burst in, and tried to bust down the stall door. The way I look at it is, a man in a dress is still a man. Stores just need to make those neutral bathrooms to make everyone happy. Women do not want men in the women’s restroom

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    1. I am very sorry that happened to you. And yes, A man in a dress is still a man. A trans-woman is a woman though. They look like women, behave like women, and live as women. Hell, they even have less testosterone in their body than you do. Trans-women are more likely to be sexually assaulted or murdered in a bathroom than a woman is.

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      1. I understand that, and, now my trans-sisters are at risk too… because imagine all the pervert men who will take advantage of this law, just to gain easy access to watch women and girls in the toilet?

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  27. I read Gretchens letter in its entirety. I can state statistics to show facts just the opposite of her statistics. I can also cuss, call names or discount someone else’s opinion (as she did). All arguments pro and con have been made by various people. This is my opinion (which I am entitled to). NO man needs to be in a woman’s bathroom. I have the right to feel safe, or just COMFORTABLE in the bathroom. I should not HAVE to quote statistics, argue, fuss, or fight. If we all TRULY want to JUST use the bathroom there is a third option already (or build one where they don’t exist). Not only do I have the right to my opinion, I also have the right to spend my money where I want and not spend it where I don’t. If I so passionately disagree with something it is ALSO my right to boycott!! Target is wrong, that’s why I’m boycotting them and will ccontinue to do so!!

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    1. Well, that is just fine, Trans-women are still women, And they don’t want men in womens bathrooms either. Trans-women have a higher chance of being raped and of being murdered than the average cis-woman, making them go to mens rooms is just irresponsible and is already leading to assaults (men assaulting trans-women)

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  28. Transgendered women have been using women’s bathrooms for decades! Where do you think they have been going to the bathroom all this time? You have shared the bathrooms with them as well. Who here has ever been attacked by a transgendered person in a bathroom?
    Why can’t we focus on poverty, health care, Syrian refugees (those women have to use fields to evacuate AND have been raped doing so), education and stuff that really keeps women protected and safe? We have enough issues that endanger women. We do not need to invent them.

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    1. You raise an interesting point in the first paragraph. It’s been a nonissue for so long, why is it suddenly an issue now? Why the demand for change now after so long with there being no issues?

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      1. Trans woman here. I’m what’s called “visibly trans”. Meaning…. Duh. Anyways, I’ve been threatened and assaulted in the men’s room, and thrown out of the store by security for using the women’s. Now I hold it. All the time. I can’t leave my house very far, and have to return home after one or two errands… My doctor also says holding it in is causing kidney problems for me. He also said kidney failure was common among trans people for this reason. . So no, it didn’t work just fine previously. It sucked.

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  29. I think you have an opinion on the issues around bathrooms; as well on a litany of other matters you raise. If someone disagrees with you about bathrooms, does that mean they disagree with you and are silent on everything else you raise?

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    1. She keeps asking ‘where were you’ when specific crimes were committed. I’d like to ask ‘where was she’? Was she boycotting, protesting, shouting from the rooftops? What has she changed in our society? Sadly, nothing! But she can judge everyone else!!

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  30. I think the reason their are social ‘meltdown’ moments is because multiple issues get conflated and everybody feels they are not heard.

    A starting point is to listen. Shouting louder typically backfires except to serve the purpose of proving one’s own voice as right since no one else is audible when one is screaming.

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  31. You know, I was feeling every little bit about this post right up until she pulled out “white male outrage”. Why bother putting a racial card on abhorrent behavior? White males aren’t the only people who can do horrible acts against others. Ah well. Comments like that just make me dismiss everything I read before and now this post is just…bothersome.

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  32. I liked target when it was here in Bc…one think they did wrong opened there doors when most of their shelves were empty. There prices were not to bad. Their clothing I liked it was way better then Walmart. There staff was nice, and for waiting in line wasn’t long they opened another cashier came. I started to love target to and not liking Walmart much.

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  33. Tbis is ignorant garbage and a man was just caught in the ladies bathroom takong pictures of a little girl. Please dont post garbage when in reality yoir just jumping on a band wagon to make yourself feel better about trans gender people. Its not about them its about the sick people who pretend to be.

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    1. Taking pictures of a little girl is still illegal, punishing transgender people and forcing them into unsafe situations doesnt change that at all. Its like beating every child in a room because one child stole a box of crayons.

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  34. The American College of Pediatricians cites several studies showing that gender ideology HARMS children. http://www.acpeds.org/the-college-speaks/position-statements/gender-ideology-harms-children
    Uncompleted transgenders (gender reassignment surgery not done), while counseled by psychiatrists to live as the gender identified with for at least a year before having the surgery, I don’t want a person with male genitalia in the bathroom with me – or my daughter or my granddaughter. The policies being put into place not just by Target but by school systems, places of business, and transportation hubs allow ANY person to “say” they identify as a gender and use that restroom. There are absolutely no safeguards in place, no guidelines, no restraints.
    This whole thing needs to be rethought from a reasoned and logical position. Put in some safeguards to reduce the chances that some “transgender impersonator” will gain access to restrooms of the opposite gender.

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    1. Why would a criminal let a very minor bathroom policy law change their action? I take my daughter into male bathrooms all the time. I don’t want her seeing men’s “junk” but she’s seen mine and I’m not really scared of it. Of course, I’m very afraid of something happening to her outside of my protection. But, the laws against rape and other criminal acts are certainly stronger than a “hey, don’t go in the women’s bathroom” policy. Even if this law was passed, what’s stopping someone from going into a bathroom? Do you think a perp is going to go in and do this act while the bathroom has people in it? If it was done, they would wait until no one is around and sit in a stall.

      Now, one thing I do recognize is a big dichotomy concerning gun control and bathroom policy. As a liberal myself, I ask myself if I’m a hypocrite asking for more gun control and less bathroom policy. These are obviously very complex issues and it wouldn’t be fair if I didn’t mention a level of my own hypocrisy here.

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      1. Think about states that increased the legal drinking age. They did it because studies showed that alcohol related injuries and death decreased when the drinking age was increased. DUI was illegal either way, but because of greater access to alcohol the lower drinking age made alcohol related bad behavior more likely, whether it was because of parents being worried about being sued, kids being worried about going to jail, etc.

        The same idea applies with these access laws. If you say men can be in the women’s bathrooms simply if they “self-identify” as a woman there will be more men in the bathroom looking for opportunities, casing the place, etc. You and I both know that there are many, many bathroom cam videos online, and this policy will just fuel that as the unisex bathrooms at colleges have. There are 100’s of thousands of sex offenders in this country. It would be very surprising if some of them didn’t use the access laws to check out the women’s rooms and see what opportunities were there. With Target’s access policy, if I see a man when I go alone into the bathroom, I sit and hope that he doesn’t have bad intentions, without that policy I can call store security and tell them there’s a man in the bathroom. There have been many, many times that men have used the isolation of a bathroom to attack, or videotape women, we shouldn’t welcome them in. Ridiculous.

        You mention your hypocrisy on the issue as a liberal, and I appreciate your candor. But to make the comparison to gun laws you will have to compare it to what would be a blanket permission gun law, no registration that can be revoked, etc. So imagine a gun law where someone behaves badly with a gun, but there’s still nothing you can do to take away their opportunity to carry. Crazy, right? There was a case with a biological girl in N. CA who after getting the right to go in the boys room made a claim of rape happening there. But then after conflicting stories and no evidence, she had to retract her claim. Under these blanket policies she’s still allowed in, as is anyone who uses the access laws to peep or expose themselves in a locker room, etc. These access laws are ridiculous, a male prisoner who “identified” as a woman raped his cellmate, but still couldn’t be sent to the male prison until a few other incidents had happened. Bad law based on emotions of wanting to be oh, so tolerant instead of the reality of epic levels of sexual assault and harassment in our culture.

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        1. On the gun subject – if someone acts “bad with it” they would go to jail. With guns there are two sides – criminals with intent and then accidents (toddlers shooting people – which happens weekly). Look, I hate crime and there’s such a balancing act between a police state and civil liberties. In the age of the internet, we get exposure to so many data points. For example, I can argue that alcohol laws hit 99% of people that have NO intent to break the law before consumption. A perv/rapist has intent ahead of a law. I still don’t believe that the bathroom policy statistically impacts cases, but yes, a rapist would have easier access and still would be committing a crime. IE, a liberal will always have examples of civil liberties being trampled on and a conversative will always have examples of some perv taking advantage of a bathroom policy to be bad. I think technology should play a bigger role. Put a camera outside of bathrooms, sure add a fingerprint reader (this sounds less liberal than most of my colleagues). It’s clear that simply trusting thy neighbor (people we know are the highest committers) is naive. That’s been the case far before Brutus stabbed his best friend.

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        2. Seems wasteful to me to require all businesses to add fingerprint readers, etc. that may or may not work, or require constant maintenance. But at least you realize that it’s a potential issue. Most people who are proponents of the access laws are saying opponents are simply bigoted and that there are no real life concerns that opponents could possibly actually be concerned about.

          Target could simply add the 3rd single user “family” bathroom to all their stores if this is an issue that they want to highlight. (As mentioned as the solution in the boycott petition…) But activists are unwilling to accept this reasonable compromise, which should tell you something about their motivations in not wanting to resolve this issue.

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        3. To be fair, I think everyone recognizes issues and back to the heart of this blog, to me, the author is highlighting issues that should be much more a priority for all of us vs. something with such a low incidence rate. What has happened with this issue is the voices at the extremes are drawing many more in, and many are being forced to gather in red or blue groupings. The red grouping sounds like hating homophobes because the loudest voices are calling trans people abnormal, evil, perverted, etc. The blue groupings loudest voices are saying “you are idiots, no one gets assaulted in a bathroom, your kids have nothing to worry about.” The reality, as you can see in many postings is super sad. There’s a lot of anger and frankly way too many people that the discomfort and perceived fear of imagining a life with trans people co-existing close by translates into oppression and hate. That’s so sad for these folks. http://www.care2.com/causes/1-unmissable-quotes-from-lana-wachowskis-hrc-speech.html

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        4. That would be great if people would leave their “red and blue groupings” to address the issue, but where would be the compromise? The Target boycott itself suggests the compromise of Target making sure stores have a 3rd single user/family bathroom. Which seems like a good compromise for .3% of the population. But the trans rights people have rejected it. In the IL case the teen boy who identified female was given the right to be in the girls’ restroom, the right to be in the girls’ locker room, but all that wasn’t enough– he took the case to the IL Supreme Court to fight the privacy curtain between him and the dressing girls– AND he won. Where’s the room for compromise?

          You yourself are characterizing people on my side as “fear of imagining a life with trans people co-existing.” That is profoundly unfair. In HI the public schools gave into the trans demands and made unisex bathrooms. Soon a mentally handicapped freshman was raped in one of the unisex bathrooms. When localities open women’s shelters and prisons up to males identifying as women, women are assaulted, peeped at and raped. (I can give you the local news stories for each of these.) I care about these vulnerable people and am not going to shut up because people call me bigoted or fearful. Why do I have to pretend there are no concerns? Isn’t that standing up for women to be safe like the author of this blog pretends to want? But when I stand up for a real threat she says I’m bigoted and don’t care about women being hurt. That’s simply not true.

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        5. I did not call you bigoted, Annie. When I said “I don’t need to respect your beliefs” in the first paragraph, I was referring to people who demonize LGBT. Those who say they are sick or sinful of mentally ill. Those are the words of bigots, those who classify an entire group of people as sub-standard. I even said (paragraphs 5 or 6) that I was talking to the reasonable people who had concerns about safety.

          Now, what is concerning, is that a group that is well known for being bigoted towards the LGBT community (The American Family Association) started a petition and played on people’s fears. I think that’s worth noting. Are you fears legitimate? Of course. But the law of averages, the history of these policies, etc. show that most of these fears are based on events and incidences that have nothing to do with the Transgender protection laws. (Anyone getting their info from AFA or Brietbart should vet it on other, non biased sites before believing them) The “hate group” known as the American Family Association is orchestrating all of these things and people’s concern for the safety of their loved ones as fuel for their agenda. That is suspicious to me. That’s why I wrote this. Your concern for safety doesn’t make you a bigot. But I think people should be aware that there is false information and spin being put out by bigoted groups to advance an anti-LGBT agenda. This has been documented. They are going state by state to influence legislation like HB2. In the wake of marriage equality rulings, this is their next battle. All the while, they are ignoring the very real threats to women and children that they claim to be so concerned about. This letter was a plea to see through the bullshit and vet your (meaning everyone’s) sources and know who’s agenda you’re advancing when you buy into actions such as the boycott. Especially noting that the Target policy has been in place for years. Especially noting that 237 major cities in the US have similar policies in place for years. This is a trumped up issue.

          I appreciate that you’re here for a productive discussion. That’s what I love about the comments section. I can’t possibly respond to all comments, but I’ve seen many of yours and I’ve seen that you really want to discuss this, so when I saw that you thought I was calling you a bigot, I had to respond.

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        6. Hey, if you are willing to use a bathroom designated for bigots I will use one designated for transgender folks. The difference is people like me are regularly beaten and killed just for being outed. We don’t care about your stupid fears, I’ve been in a lot of bathrooms, never once seen somebody else’s genitalia, unlike you using the right bathroom literally is a matter of life and death. There has never been a confirmed case of a trans woman(since nobody is worried about trans men) raping or assaulting anybody in a bathroom. There are thousands of cases of trans women being beaten, raped, molested, and murdered for using a bathroom(mens or womens). So yhea you can take your seperate but equal bathroom policy and shove it.

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        7. The problem is this, forcing trans-women to use mens rooms INCREASES their chances of being raped and murdered by a huge amount while not affecting cis-womens safety in any way shape or form. We already have many cities, companies, states, and towns that have protections for transgender people and there is no increase in bathroom issues.

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    2. The American College of Pediatricians is a small (60-200 members), incredibly socially conservative group, only founded in 2002, with a name designed to mimic the American Academy of Pediatrics (founded in 1930, 64,000 members), which is the authority on the subject. The ACP split from the AAP over the AAP’s decision to affirm adoption of children by gay couples, and has continued to have views that align with anti-LGBTQ sentiment.

      For the record, the AAP’s statements on the care of LGBTQ youth include the recommendation for professionals that “Transgender adolescents need to be supported and affirmed” and say nothing about gender identity harming children. (http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/132/1/198.full?sid=baab3d90-dd2d-4618-8b7d-b3091d6eb732)

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  35. Well I hear you, but I would like to know we’re were you or others like you when a man is raped by a women? It does happen, and much more then you think. It never goes anywhere as women as well as men laugh these men right out of the police station. You stated several times how this policy would make it safer for LBGT. How? Really how? See I am a gay man,and this bloody policy doesn’t do a damn thing for me. I fact were were you when I was beaten to a bloody stump some years back, in a public restroom, a restroom in a mall btw. I don’t really have a big issue with your anger, I understand some of it, even if you are doing the old fragile little women speech. But leave the LBG out of it and just use the T. And just for my two more cents I have an issue with targets new restroom policy. And I plan on boycotting them, not like I shop there anyhow…please! But my reason aginst it is for starters target is not doing this because they care so damn freakin much about how trans people feel. They are doing it solely for political reasons. It is strictly a marketing move, and they have weighted the reactions long before they ever announced this new marketing ploy. I am also aginst it as really are there that many trans, true trans walking around? I have been gay and out most likely longer then you have been alive. I have always resented trans people being lumped in with gay rights. Ever since stonewall. While I have been mostly alone in this I still resent trans lumped in with gays. Hell I don’t like being lumped in with bisexuals and lesbians either. We are all completely different groups no matter what you may think or hear. Trans people are not gay in any way, so why oh why were they lumped in with my group? Because they had no where else to turn and they rode our coat tails of success over the last 45+ years. As far as I feel if it still has a dick then it is a man and needs to use the men’s restroom. If their in a skirt well too damn bad, they have been able to hide away while many of my now dead from AIDS friends campaigned on their behalf. Yeah sour grapes honey I know. And I don’t have to abide by your cherry picked morality. So suck it bitch.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Dude, check your history. Two trans women, Marsha P. Johnson and Sylvia Rivera, were leading voices at Stonewall and in the battle for LGBT rights as a whole. You have trans people to thank for the rights you have now.

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  36. This is an excellent article. Too bad the people who it addresses won’t see themselves in it because they are so fanatical. They have their sights set on a particular group, it was gay people, but they lost that war, so now onto an another already stigmatized group. Trans people don’t bother anyone, they just want to live their lives. It is a shame that these groups wrap themselves in the bible and claim to be doing gods work, but in reality it is nothing more than them bullying people who THEY decided are wicked and sinful. Thanks for writing this, I truly hope it gets passed along to at least one of them and maybe they might ask themselves if it is about them.

    Liked by 2 people

  37. My opinion, I hardly ever use public bathrooms. Why? Because, they are never clean. People are perverted, once I worked for this company and the boss put a video camera in the girls bathroom and blocked off the one stall. Ever since I worry about all bathrooms being bugged.

    Liked by 1 person

  38. This post took the words right out of my mouth. I have two amazing friends, who have transgendered children. To see them, you would never know that a birth certificate marked them down as female. As a matter of fact, if either of them walked into a women’s restroom the same people bitching about them using the bathroom of the gender they identify with, would be throwing a tantrum over men being in their restroom. This whole boycott target thing is beyond ridiculous because it is not a new thing… Target has always been accepting of all people regardless of their choices. They just reiterated their policy to show their support. Also they are not the only ones. If all these boycott fanatics are really going to show their disdain for this they need to write down a list starting with Facebook. Thank you for your post!

    Liked by 2 people

  39. Hi,

    There was a fair bit contained in this post about male on female violence. Given the real stats available, which don’t fit the usual narrative and demonstrate that men are as or more likely to face domestic violence are you able to stand up for gender equality and write a piece that demonstrates the truth. I ha e tried, but I am a man and nobody really cares what I have to say.

    Thanks

    Liked by 2 people

  40. Agreed, agreed and agreed. I am also the mom that is always worried and that would never let her children in a restroom alone. This fear is completely misguided, because predators do not fit a certain description and they can be either sex. So if your concern is that some creepy male child molester is going to rape your daughter in a public restroom because now he can go in there, you are very confused because any person who would do this is already raping your sons next door. Contrary to popular belief, creepy people that would do this haven’t been using a special bathroom marked “pedifiles only,” and they do in fact have the same bathroom needs as the average person.

    Liked by 1 person

  41. This is fantastic. I reblogged it. I would luck to extend an invitation to you. Please join us . https://otvmagazine.com/2015/10/16/linkyourlife-has-a-facebook-group-and-youre-invited/

    And for info on what to link :
    http://honeyquill.com/category/linkyourlife/

    This invite extends to everyone who commented or you may invite others to join us on Fridays. We want to keep a real dialogue & you wrote this with tremendous strength & respect to anyone reading it.

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  42. Thank you for writing this! I wish I could like this 100 times. I feel like you were inside my head saying all the frustrations I have on this issue but haven’t been able to vocalize properly.

    Liked by 2 people

        1. You are gross. It’s so weird that you as Christians evangelize a loving God and then you come online where there are thousands of nonbelievers and you scream at them, insult them or call a fellow Christian’s post “stupid” and then you expect people to believe in a loving God. That’s why most people think it’s bullshit, because you tell everyone about God but you act so terribly. Nice job.

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        2. It doesn’t bother me in the least what you think. I commented on the bathroom issue and everyone brought GOD into my initial comment. Read the threads, if you want to spar me on the God issue – just open and read the bible ( all of it, all the way through) first, then you can talk to me otherwise I don’t argue scripture. God is very clear without me as an echo

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    1. I understand that you disagree. Would you mind answering a question for me about your comment? How does someone expressing herself automatically equate to a rant instead of a post? Can someone not rant in a post? And why call that stupid? Almost every single thing she ”ranted ” about was backed up with sources. That sounds intelligent, not stupid. Can you please tell me why it’s stupid? I don’t see your reasoning convincing. Her reasoning was convincing. Please do not call something or someone stupid in public without sharing why you think so. All you manage to do is convey hate and resistance. I invite you to choose differently next time.

      Liked by 10 people

        1. Thank you, Gretchen! I really enjoyed reading your post. You had a lot of very solid points to make. I relate and appreciate your thoughts. 🙂

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      1. I am not angry about her post, but I think she based her whole argument on ‘fear of assault’, and ignored the privacy issue. I am for less worried about rape than I am about this intrusion on MY privacy in the toilet, and the privacy of all teenage girls to shower and change clothes at school without boys being allowed to watch them. I am upset that they are justifying these ‘bathroom’ rules as a transgender privacy/rights issue, but are not requiring the transgenders to ‘identify’, thereby allowing any and all males to enter these facilities. Then, they call us haters, racists and/or, ‘transphobics’ because we object to this GROSS intrusion on our privacy!

        Most fathers do NOT go into the bathroom when their own teenage daughters are using the toilet or showering, but these liberals, under the guise of ‘do gooders’, are mandating that other men and boys MUST be allowed to view their daughters in bathrooms, locker rooms, and showers.

        I don’t care if a transgender who is dressed like and looks like a woman uses the bathroom, and they have been for years. We don’t even know when they are there. So who made this a problem? Who started this, and WHY?

        And what is wrong with three bathrooms giving everyone their choice; Men’s, Women’s, and/or Unisex?

        Also, why start these bathroom policies in schools grades K through 12, if it is not to brainwash our kids. Even today, scientists can NOT prove or verify whether it is a real biological anomaly, or a psychiatric disorder. But the American Association of Pediatrics, recently published statistics showing that almost 90% of teens identifying as transgenders revert to their biological gender after going through puberty!!!!!! There should be NO TRANSGENDER ENCOURAGEMENT, OR RULES AT ALL in schools because these kids are too young to know who they are yet!.

        I fear that this has more to do with controlling the masses, and dehumanizing women, than it has to do with transgenders (less than 5% of the population.
        This is insane!

        TH IRONY OF ALL OF THIS TURMOIL IS: it is still against the law for that ‘transgender’ (or anyone) to urinate in public.

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        1. In every home there is a bathroom shared by all genders … It has a door … Public facilities have a door … If you are worried about your privacy, close the door … It is actually that simple.

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        2. Thank you Chloe Rowles for your response. I have been reading a lot of the studies that have been conducted. There are theories as to why people are LGBT but there has NOT been any conclusive evidence proving they are born this way. All we hear anymore is how this is not their fault, we need to make accommodations for them, when that is not the case. As for Beck Mitchell’s reply: sharing a bathroom means more than one person being in there at the same time. Families do NOT do that. A private bathroom is a single use facility, meaning one person in the room at a time. These bathrooms exist in many places (family/unisex) and these are the places anyone can use if they are not comfortable in their own bathroom. Men do NOT belong in women’s bathrooms, period!

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        3. I have never seen a ladies or girls restroom that has doors that go from floor to ceiling. They have stalls, with big gaping open areas above and below the walls and door. There are also cracks around the doors, wide enough to see through, and possibly to photograph through. As for locker rooms, they are usually one big open room, with no stalls, no walls within it, no privacy whatsoever. Of course girls and women won’t want to change clothes there, with boys or men around.

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        4. Chloe why don’t you post a link to this supposed AAP study that 90%. You are flat out wrong and miss informed!!!

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        5. It actually wasn’t the American Association of Pediatrics. It was the American College of Pediatrics. They are an offshoot that is known for their anti-LGBT stance. I think the estimated membership is anywhere from 60-200 members, whereas the AAP has 60,000.

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    2. Actually most average Christians have always stood up and fiercely fought for women to be protected , and yes, against anyone committing the crimes you talk to make a bad one , that could hurt our family! So you are wrong ! We do draw a line when someone changes a good policy that could possibly hurt women and girls ! We do not risk their lives ! We will not be back unless your policy goes back to a sensible one for the majority of your customers ! We have been told that there are less then 1 % of those who are Transgender . Why would you change your policy to upset the other 99% ?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Swing and a miss! Good job on missing the point and making the point at the same time. If you’re that concerned about a measly 1% transgendered population using restrooms at Target, I sincerely hope you don’t let your children/grandchildren go anywhere or do anything without someone you trust watching over them constantly. Oh, wait. Can’t always trust family members, either. Now what are you going to do? Pick a battle worth fighting. This is an inconsequential skirmish.

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        1. Paula, I have to wonder, what would you consider a battle worth fighting? Seems to me Ms. Kelly is fighting for those who have been marginalized by our society – not only transgender people, but also women, blacks, girls, and victims of rape and abuse. Which other more worthy battle would you have her take up? Also–inconsequential for whom? Or maybe I’m just ignoring your point, which is a loud and clear, “I DON’T CARE ABOUT THOSE PEOPLE!”

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        2. Paula, I’m sorry… I totally misinterpreted your post. I thought you were responding to the article, but now I see that your response was to Reichenbach up there. My apologies, we’re making the same argument. I wanted to delete my comment, but I don’t find a way to do that.

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      1. Hannah
        This is such a powerful, genuine video that expresses a real reality for women today. It’s shocking to see the viewpoints of ppl who are lobbying for this right to be abolished. Typically I don’t bother reading blog post like these, but I ran across it on WP Discover. The remarks are so astonishing I never bothered to jump in the bull ring. I’ve visited safe houses for rescued young girls and women and I developed a heart for women and young girls that have been abused through various ways. It’s a very serious matter that is now in the face of all of us. God help us all.
        Thank you for sharing.

        Liked by 1 person

    3. I’m a Christian but I don’t judge or dislike people for there choices, its not for me to do this. “Its God’s job” As far as I am concern each of you who believe in God yet play God by judging are all sinners. Let all people live there lives, there is a quote in the bible that clearly ready “welcome one who is weak in faith and do not judge thy brother” you quote from areas only you see fit “try living the bible it too”. Perhaps you wont be so evil.

      Look at our world all this hate and wars is based on religion.. STOP PLAYING GOD!!

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      1. I’m evil?i simply stated the writer made a rant not a post – she brought God in it. All the haters are coming from her side. Read your threads before you attack someone for being evil.

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    4. What she’s saying is true. If safety is the concern and has been the concern, then why hasn’t there been an outcry for justice in any of the scenarios listed? The women being assaulted on colleges, child predators getting slaps on the wrist as far as sentencing, young kids gunned down by police…if the concern is really about safety for women and children, where’s the outrage for all of that? A transgender pissing in a bathroom is more of a security threat than any of the above?

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    5. A rant, not a post? What does that even mean? By virtue being online, it’s a post. A rant is characterized by passion, unbridled bluster, often loud, one way hollering. This little essay possesses none of these characteristics except passion. There is also intelligence, research, and open-mindedness present. So, I would also eliminate the category, “stupid”. What then draws my attention is an active curiosity as to why you would offer such a hostile comment. The obvious answer is that Ms. Kelly’s essay has struck a nerve. Perhaps you are one of the faceless minions who have not spoken up on behalf of assaulted women, bathrooms or not. Transgender folks have a lot of issues, not least of which is fear of those who have not called for greater attention to e paid to sexual assault, rape and child molestation but instead focus on what actually offends them…the existence of alternate life-styles dictated, apparently, by DNA/chemistry they have no control over. What truly is “stupid” is the belief that offering a mean, bigoted comment as an argument to a well-thought out, well-written position paper on a controversial subject, and while doing so, offering up a test of one’s own moral evaluation. A test that reveals one’s own hidden bigotry.

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  43. And where are the angry voices when a POTUS (Clinton) doesn’t believe that oral sex is sex and when the a DEM candidate defends her husband’s affairs with women (e.g., Monica), even when it’s clearly an abuse of power.

    Liked by 1 person

  44. Thank you for your beautiful words. As a member of the LGBT community, I have been waiting for this post for a long time. I am so sick of people that I love being so misinformed. I am sick of people believing that just because Target as done that with their bathrooms that men are going to start raping females, just because it is legal for them to go into the same restrooms now. Newsflash, if a man wanted to rape a women that freaking bad, a stupid “ladies room” sign would not stop him. I have a few dear friends that are either transgender or gender fluid and to see people make shit up like, “oh they are going to rape my wife and kids” is beyond stupid. We all have been using the same exact bathrooms forever. Even before they became known as transgender.So, again, as a member of the LGBT community, I thank you so very much.

    Liked by 1 person

  45. Wow isn’t the writer high minded. Just like all the “High Minded” that have been shoving crap down the throat of “regular folks” for 20 years. You see it’s not that we are bigoted or haters. It’s the LGBT _ err Q or what ever other letters they want to add have finally pushed too far and too hard. Most RF (regular folks) never cared that such a small percentage of the population was gay, lesbian or the even smaller percentage that are trannys. No RF just didn’t care UNTIL we were forced to add sexual preference to federally protected hate class. UNTIL we were told to not on tolerate the LGBT community but we also have to celebrate their odd sexual ideas or we are the bigots and haters. UNTIL the LGBT community found it important to invade every aspect of RF lives and while invading flip the RF off with a gayly colored boa. You have to understand that RF are the ones that built this country. RF are the ones that spent their blood and lives all over the world to protect the rights for ALL Americans. The RF are the ones that go to church on Sundays and pray for ALL people, even LGBTers. No RF have tolerated about all they are willing to tolerate. So keep pushing and see how much push back is going to come your way. Now take your whiney ass crap down the road the RF are tired of the guilt and we are tossing it off and worrying about the RF best interest from now on.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. So killing LGBT people just because they are LGBT is accepting? Ostracizing them because they are different is tolerance? We didn’t start a fight for legal protection because we felt tolerated and accepted, we started because we were sick and tired of being trampled on. You say that “RF” tolerated us? What a joke. It’s not tolerance that made gaypanic and transpanic legal and acceptable arguments for assault and murder, its intolerance and bigotry. Its not tolerance that prevented homosexual people from marrying, its intolerance. Its not tolerance that forces and demands trans people to go through YEARS of therapy just to start their transition and end the dysphoria. No we were not tolerated, at least not at a level that considered us human. So long as we were considered sub-human we were tolerated. So long as we were laughed at, joked about and made out to be the butt of many jokes we were tolerated. So long as we accepted our sub-human status and accepted our lack of rights and protections we were tolerated. We are not sub-human, we do not deserve to be attacked or murdered just because we are different then the rest of you.

      Liked by 1 person

  46. I don’t always agree with everything feminists say, but I do agree with some. I agree with what you said here about where were they? Because they weren’t screaming about how its wrong that women and children are being raped daily, some were even telling children they should feel lucky. Like all those young boys that come out about being raped by an older woman, no they shouldn’t feel lucky. Where were you all when that major polygamy group was being taken down in Utah and it had been proven that they were marrying and abusing girls as young as 14?

    I’ve seen you talk about how your don’t want trans people in the restrooms of their gender identity and you don’t want unisex restrooms. You just want to shove us into the restrooms of our birth sex with others with like chromosomes. You don’t care that some look so much like women that you can’t tell the difference or others that look like men that you would never guess it. You don’t care that you are in fact putting more people in danger with policies like that. Yes putting us in the restroom of our birth sex will actually endanger cis women an children MORE then if you let us into the restroom of our gender identity. You don’t care that it is putting more stress and more anxiety and depression on the already crippling anxiety and depression that many transgender people feel because of the way society so openly disapproves and mocks us. You don’t care that you are encouraging murder and suicides by hundreds of thousands of people.

    Yes protect the women and children, but throwing one group into harms way just to save a few isn’t the way to do it. Its morally wrong on every level. Would you support the torture of 700k people for years then the eventual murder of all 700k just to stop a potential threat that has no evidence of actually existing? If you would then you need to check your moral compass, because its a sickening thought to me. Truth be told, sexual assaults in a restroom existed before the fight for transgender recognition and protection. The reason you are seeing more of them in the news NOW is because of the spotlight on transgender people, our fight for equality has led to extreme publicity of any man caught in a woman’s restroom violating a woman’s rights. And what about all the reports coming in of women being attacked in a restroom by a man that suspected her of actually being a man and came in to force her out? Its happening more and more often, and they always use the same excuse for it “well she didn’t look like a woman to me.” WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN! Seriously people, anti-trans laws are more dangerous for everyone then pro-trans laws.

    And also what about the feeling of the trans men and trans women? Like take me for example, I am completely uncomfortable in the men’s restroom. I am scared to my wits end when I am forced into one or when I was using them before my transition. Why? One because I am actually a girl that had a genetic hiccup whilst in the womb. Second because I was raped by a man when I was 12, yea that’s right I had a penis and was a “boy” but I was raped by an older man. It went unreported (to the police) and unbelieved for many years until I gave up trying to tell people about it. And on top of that I was beaten almost daily by another man, and drugged into a zombie like depressed state for years by him. He was someone I should of been able to trust and because of me saying I’m a girl on the inside and because I don’t look like him he abused and neglected me as a child. With those two things happening to me as a child I have grown a fear of men, I was born with a penis and I am afraid of men, it takes many years for me to build enough trust with a man to be able to be in the same room as him while alone. I was told that I’m a boy but I never could accept that even before I was raped. I am a woman with a troubled past and a fear of men, I should not be forced to pee next to people that make me so afraid.

    As I said, I agree that women and children need to be protected but doing things like N.C. did will not help anything. It will only harm and hinder everyone. We need to find a way that will protect the women and children AND us transgender people.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Sadly having grown up in that state, it will take a miracle to get that to happen. I’m only one state down now with F2M tg roommate who refuses to start the process at all beyond private self identification or inside the walls of our apartment as she could lose her job if she comes out as Lesbian (which is what she says if asked, people accept that better than Trans in most places we’ve lived with the exception of Seattle) She won’t even use her accept gender pronoun or something neutral AT HOME (thus my calling her she here) because there are no laws to protect her job or our apartment should she be outed as either. Most overlook homosexual. They act like transgender is an illness they might catch. It will never be harder to be an ally than to be the LGBT person, sadly in this country neither are safe. I’m sorry you went through what you did, I’m sorry that, although I’ve never had a penis, that we share the same sisterhood. Survivors of childhood and adult abuse trauma and I agree, very much with Gretchen.
      Where were they for us before any of this got to this point.
      Why was no one listening or even able to see the VERY obvious signs or abuse and/or neglect.

      I want us all protected, not just one group. The saddest thing, the thing we have be most concerned about, is us, Other people who prey on the weak or the different.

      Liked by 1 person

        1. Lol. Honestly I am surprised, surprised that my state still hasn’t tried to start any anti-trans legislation. I live in Utah, yet the only trans laws or references in laws are pro-trans. It’s so surprising that this super conservative state hasn’t tried to pass anything anti-trans. Even most of the people in my family and most in the community are pretty accepting and ok with it. It honestly gives me hope for the future.

          That is one sisterhood that I wish that no one was in. No one should have to live with the pain of the memories from abuse. No one should have to live in fear because of abuse whether it be sexual, physical, or emotional.

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  47. Thought provoking blog post, as can be seen by the 1000+ comments, thank you for writing it. As someone who supports the boycott, I would like to respond specifically to the statement “Where were you?”, which the blog post focuses on:

    1. “You’re angry” – Nah, I’m not angry. I am concerned about the safety of my daughter. While you may be comfortable with standing outside the bathroom, I am not, and my daughter is probably way older than yours :-). The explosion of porn, sex abuse,… is unprecedented. I could go on for pages about this. We cannot be naive.

    2. How do you know that I was not ‘there’? Simply put, how do you know that I wasn’t there speaking out against rape?

    3. Who is the ‘you’? Is it the people who boycott Target? Are they all lumped together as some morally misdirected uniform crowd? Are you sure they – some, most, all – aren’t socially active against rape?

    4. What about you as the author? The question can be turned to you using the same logic: where were you on issues such as abortion and constitutional rights were being challenged? An unfair question to be sure since we don’t know you – which is exactly my concern for the questions being asked in the posting.

    Your challenging questions about what people are doing about rape are right on and need to be asked. This should not be missed. People need to be asked what are they doing about rape. I read the questions you ask and am challenged to do more.

    I also support your fact checking about what is actually happening. It’s early in the bathroom debates, so this thing is evolving. For example, the mother in this article, http://www.theamericanconservative.com/dreher/targeting-target/, is this true? Pointing to the article in the Huf Post, while interesting, may be premature, again, this is a new thing that’s just a month old.

    Here’s my concern: Making broad sweeping statements and pinning them on ‘those target boycotters’, while dramatic, aren’t helpful to your concerns. It creates two problems, first, lumping all those ‘target boycotters’ together is simply wrong. Second, it still leaves open the question of men being in the women’s restroom. If the concern is over women being raped, then isn’t letting men into the women’s restroom part of that problem? I say yes.

    Liked by 3 people

  48. Thank you so much for writing this. I have been trying to put into words why it is that these people who are ‘afraid for their children’ has bothered me so much. Thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

  49. You make excellent points, but please don’t stoop to the emotionally manipulative horseshit of calling Trayvon Martin a “child”. He was a fully grown 17-year-old who broke another man’s nose and split his scalp open before being shot.

    Liked by 1 person

  50. I don’t fear that my child will be attacked. Well I do, but that is not my biggest reasoning for not liking this policy. I don’t care what people do in their lives. Gay, straight, bi, transgender, that’s all fine with me. But I do not think my 2 sons need to see a female in the restroom they are using. As I do not think my nieces need to see a male while they are using the restroom. As my kids get older, they do not need to see anyone else’s parts that are not like theirs. I don’t even like to think of them having to see anyone else period. I know it happens in locker rooms. And mens restrooms with urinals. But I don’t like to think about it. But when they are teenagers I don’t want them seeing women in their restroom. That is my biggest concern. I will always fear my children getting hurt. I was hurt as a child. And it is my biggest fear that it could happen to my kids. So that fear is in fact magnified when I think of all the pedaphiles in this world, that could use this policy to their advantage.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I was sexually abused as a child. In my home. By people that I and my parents trusted. Not by strangers. Not in public. Not by trans people. They were white, American, males. I was 8. You have every right to fear for your child getting hurt. I fear that for my children. And if you don’t want them seeing the private areas of the opposite gender until later, that’s fine too. However, you should not assume that in a public restroom they will see the private parts of ANYONE, particularly someone who is trans. For example, with these laws that forbid trans people from using the restroom that they identify with, what people see is a woman walking into a men’s restroom, because that trans-woman was born male, identifies as female, dresses like, walks like, and talks like a female. Your children would never know, just like you wouldn’t know, that she was born male… until now, in these restrooms in North Carolina and other places that deny people the right to use a restroom or dressing room safely. Because trans people are more likely to be hurt with these laws, not cis people. And even people who aren’t trans… women who dress more masculine, keep their hair short, and wear guys clothes… they’re being hurt, too. And they are cis female and identify as such. These laws and boycotting Target and all of this is just worse for those who are not the ‘norm.’ And it isn’t fair. They’re being treated like second-class citizens… like they’re less that cis-gendered, straight people. That’s bullshit.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. I’m not disagreeing with you. I stated my fears. I don’t have a problem with them using the restroom. They can go wherever they want to go. I worry about people who are pedophiles that will pretend to be transgender. And if you read what I said, I’m not looking forward to my sons seeing any private parts. Male or female. I know it is part of life in the locker rooms, and I have to deal with it. But I am allowed to have my fears. And you can you have your opinion. I don’t have the answer and I don’t like people being treated wrong. But I went through the same thing you did in my home, at ages 6-12. I have my right to fear pedophiles that will use whatever leverage they can to get access to children.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Exactly how would you children be viewing the genitals of a transgendered man? If the woman hasn’t had surgery yet, he will still have a vagina and won’t be at the urinal. If he has, he will have a penis. What exactly are you afraid of them seeing? And how would they see it?

          Liked by 1 person

  51. A good post. And true. But for the record, religion has been addressing these social issues for a long time. (Not all religions, of course.)

    Only in the last century or so has it been quiet. Secular culture is still trying to find itself. Most of us religious folks are like, well we told you so but you didn’t want to hear it.

    But excellent post none the less. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  52. OH YEAH!! I’ve offended soooo many by simply pointing out statistics: 1 in 4. Look out your window and count every fourth home on your street and you will see where someone is being abused or is abusing another in some manner. I totally agree….WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU PEOPLE BEEN??

    Liked by 1 person

  53. Ummm…Can I have a weight restriction on the bathrooms too? Like, 100-125 pounds, 125-150, etc. etc? Because if I am in a bathroom with a woman who weighs 100 pounds more than me, she could basically kill me just as easily as a man could. Or how about height? I am 5’4″ and if some 6 foot chick decides she wants to assault me, that would be really easy for her to do too. In case you haven’t noticed, I’m being sarcastic! You could get beat up, raped, murdered anywhere at anytime by anyone. People just need a boogeyman to rally against and this is it for now. Even if all gender assignment bathrooms disappeared and all bathroom just had rows of stalls, no urinals, you still wouldn’t see an increase in attacks, etc. Bathrooms are a little too public. I don’t know if everyone knows this, but normally if you are going to assault someone, you like to do it in private. Obviously this varies by location, time of day, and other factors, but my point still stands. Right now if I stop at a rest stop, at midnight, on a Wednesday to use the bathroom, and I am all alone, NOTHING IS STOPPING A STRAIT, MALE DRESSING MAN FROM FOLLOWING ME IN THERE AND KILLING/RAPING ME! You think a picture of a stick woman is going to a murderous strait, male dressing mad say, “Wait, I can’t go in there, because I am a man.” You think a “law” is going to do it? Murder is against the law; people murder people everyday. Laws are only as good as the people they govern, and it’s sad to say, we are a rotten people. Don’t believe me? Scroll up!!!!! I know, you think I am talking about “you” and now you are mad. If you are mad, it’s because I am talking about you 🙂 I applaud this letter, a million times over!

    Liked by 2 people

  54. Love these sinners and tell them they are heading to hell and repent. 1Co 6:9 Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind,
    1Co 6:10 Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.

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  55. Typical liberal. Don’t like my position, so you have to immediately start calling names. What the hell is cherry picked morals anyway? Yup, I can’t force my beliefs on you. But you can’t force your beliefs on me. Want a LGBT bathrooms? Fine. Tell the store to Build you one. Or two. Or however many you need. I couldn’t care less about your sexual preferences, much like I suppose you don’t care about mine. You see, in all that whine you write about women getting raped, I didn’t see a thing about boys getting raped. You see, I’m one of those victims. My old man raped my sisters and I on a regular basis. No one protected me. Both my wonderful sisters are gone now, too much pain for them to bear, so don’t tell me I wasn’t there to try to protect, I was. But he was stronger than us, and beat me until I pissed my pants. So all this crap about your rights doesn’t men shit to me. But let some molester go into a bathroom my daughter or grandkids are in, and there will be trouble. By the way, I don’t boycott Target because of their policies, I boycott them because they are a lousy retail store.

    Liked by 1 person

  56. Brilliant! It’s what I’ve been saying since this whole thing started, but you said it SO much better than I ever could.

    Nicely done! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  57. I fear for my sister, who is gay. Yes, she is married to another woman. But she looks like a man. So if she were to go into either bathroom at Target at this point, she could run into problems of harassment. I also wouldn’t want some woman walking into the bathroom that my son is in who could be there to hurt him, which could happen at Target, because he’s almost 9 years old. He is almost too old to be going into the women’s restroom with me. But I guess now that with Target’s new policy, this doesn’t matter anymore, and it doesn’t matter if my son sees another woman naked before he supposed to. Yes, not all doors lock in public restrooms, and sometimes those doors come open due to toddlers. So NO, the Target bathroom policy IS a problem. I don’t agree with you. IF I had the money to go fly all over the world and protest all of these bad things going on, I would. But I don’t. I have a life and 3 small children to take care of, so jumping on a plane to go protest about these other events that you mentioned all around the U.S., isn’t an option. But if something/anything happens in my town or state, I am there in an instant.

    Liked by 1 person

  58. I think the writer has some good points. In some cases stupidity of people about rape was immediately known and the politician resigned and no one defended him. But we do need to speak up. Maybe being strongly against rape is a position that seems so obvious that we don’t do it. I do remember social conservatives warning that values-neutral sex education had consequences. When in the 80’s and 90’s scandals erupted where high school senior boys kept competitive scorecards on girls they convinced to have sex with them, people seemed aghast. But it seemed to be part of the natural consequences of our fear of expressing ethical absolutes. I know that many ‘experts’ say rape is only about power and not sex, but I think they are half-wrong. It’s power expressed through sex. ‘Experts’ think there’s miles of space between an attitude about sex that’s selfish and hedonistic on one hand and rape. But I’m not so sure. Once sex is de-coupled from spiritual or moral considerations and kids are almost expected to be sexually active (from some types of sex-ed along with entertainment messages), how does that not translate into viewing others more as objects rather than persons? The ‘experts’ say that we can be completely emancipated sexually and at the same time be so respecting of others that we will not victimize others. That’s a very optimistic view of human nature (not to mention doesn’t take good consideration of the effects of alcohol) A more sober view of human nature, I think, would allow us to make more morally certain statements to kids (regardless of our own failures). But we are scared to make certain statements these days. Some say we can make certain statements about rape while not making certain statements about sexual ethics in general–and that will stop rapes. I’m just not confident. I think respect for others should go beyond merely whether or not a person forces himself on a person physically–and that respect can’t help but reduce rapes. So, I would say to the writer–maybe alot of folks who you see as silent–were silenced many years ago in the realm of public education. Some want people to speak up–but only on their own terms. But in the interest of clarity–I will say more often in more situations that rape is criminal, horrendous–and is an assault on souls.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. any assault is about power. Rape is an assault where the weapon is sex or related to sex. And because of our moral issues with sex, assaults that involve sex are some how more degrading than other assaults. We need to further decouple sex from morals steeped in historical and institutional misogyny and respect each other as human equals and simply stop assaulting each other.

      Liked by 3 people

      1. well you two just wasted another minute being bigots who see the need to comment on everything behind the safety of their screen. want sixteen minutes back now?

        Like

  59. If you haven’t seen folks like myself speaking out against these things and trying to do something about them, you simply haven’t beenpaying attention.

    Liked by 1 person

  60. For those that are Transgender just go to the bathroom of the Gender you were born with….I wont judge you. In fact if you are a guy that associates as a girl I am fine with you peeing next to me. What you do with your life is none of my business unless it directly effects my life or my family’s life. This really is not a big issue.

    Liked by 2 people

  61. You don’t have to respect the opinions of people who disagree with you, but maybe you should at least attempt to understand it first. Nobody has an issue with “going to the bathroom next to someone who is LGBT”. But some people in this world are sick deviants, and a society we should acknowledge this glaring reality. No, I did not say transgender people are sick deviants, LGBT people coexist in this same real world where there are some people that are messed up. So if this is such a huge issue to protect the most vulnerable people in our shared society, then we need to set the threshold a tad bit higher than “self indentifying as a woman.” Because we can’t read hearts, minds and souls. Sorry. So yes, this opens a not so far fetched scenario in which a sick, twisted pervert can walk into a public restroom putting children in danger. We’re not your enemy, we just live in this world too, it’s not always about you.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I said I don’t respect the beliefs of those who think that LGBT people should not have the same civil and human rights as everyone else. The red words are hyperlinks, you can click on them and read in detail what I mean if you wish. I have no problem whatsoever with people disagreeing with me. If I did I wouldn’t blog with my picture and my real name for everyone to see. (the other hyperlinks take you to other articles that explain why this policy is actually not a danger, based on the 17 states that have already had these laws for years.)

      Liked by 1 person

  62. Um, beg to differ with this person who claims these stories were false. Did she talk to the police? the victims? I don’t think so! I’ve been raped in a bathroom, no one to defend me. I know very well how perverts think and if there’s an open door policy. It’s more inviting to them. This article is a laugh at, because it’s CLEAR This person has not been in another’s shoes to truly understand, but attack those who have. This is no closure to victims and their families who felt that it was safer in public bathrooms. Mine was in a school… I don’t want to have to worry more about perverts in restaurants, stores, locker rooms, etc. Because of this “change”… I had a guy stalk me in a Cracker Barrel… Thankfully he was not allowed in the restroom where I went to hide away (literally), until I was called and I had to sort of sneak to my table to finally eat in peace. I’ve had these men after me, before I married one that’s not like majority of the others that I’ve met…

    I will admit through using a fake name here…. that I know about the movie Ted. I met a screenwriter – I’ll just say that I know he did things through others… Yet another that I would never want to meet in any of those rooms, much less in public ever again… Same with more, including the one that took advantage multiple times when I was blind to society and the world… I learned the hard way.

    This is an advantage to them, the trans never had issues in the past years or we’d heard news on them far more than perverts…. Even in the Recent months (march forward) you’d find more articles on perverts than not. Grant it, I’m glad women can be more protective of themselves now. That there’s cellphones able to be used in just about anywhere, but that’s not always so in all bathrooms, etc. Including places that won’t allow electronics to be used.

    I say for ALL safety, if really NEED be. Try to be an adult – be Mature. Be RESPECTFUL of all! not a damn idiot. This person clearly sadly shows the opposite in her article. If she had thought for one second of not being selfish at all or even towards certain ones and being hateful, etc. She’d come up with the same idea and plan that I and a few others have been expressing. Plans that I know works that’s not against any FEDERAL LAW as this actually is. The NC law is also against the federal one. It was mentioned today, but I’m not in the mood to look it up for people or tell you what Law/Act that it’s against. That’s something that you should do yourselves. Educate yourself. Research. It’s a selfless act. Learn.

    Secondly, if it’s such a big damn deal.. Have three bathrooms. one for family, men, and women. Have stalls from head to two so people aren’t staring. If need be, use the family one for single people as well as mothers with sons, fathers with daughters, etc. You can MAKE it to where it’s safe and still be able to do your business. I love the stores with stalls that are enclosed head to toe without people able to peep in. This isn’t just for bathroom, but dressing rooms, etc. Privacy = easier to be comfortable to do what you need, etc. Even with other family members standing outside out of respect and you’re able to come out show them in your new outfits, etc. if it’s good or not, etc. besides just holding up clothing to one’s self to see if things would fit. this is also a good accuracy.

    There are many with these that have no issue and have had no issue with people, etc. doing things they shouldn’t. Why can’t the rest of the country take note of those? Why do we always have to cause problems, when they don’t go our way??? It’s SELFISH, It’s SPOILED, and it’s STUPID.

    There’s No respect, no morals or values. No one is really considering each other but themselves or certain ones. It’s all Politically Correct (that’s destroying by the way) or nothing and screw you if you can’t be PC Type… >.< It's all about certain gender, certain sexually, certain race… It's not about ALL. See? What ARE we doing to ourselves? Nothing, but destruction…

    Who's really thinking for us? who's really not focusing that hey if government or media is causing all this mess or reporting on all of this mess to rile us up for nothing.. What are they really doing or hiding? Right Now, there are LAWS being passed when things like this happen. Right now, your internet is being discussed about how the government can control it. Tyranny is happening. There are Nuclear Plants Leaking, but withheld for secrecy. The Water system in a state poisoned, but nothing being done. See? what's going on?? They're fooling us with this.

    They're blinding us and we're forgetting our morals, values, selfless respect, and maturity! Stop now or we will be under a full tyranny government and no one to blame but ourselves… there'd be nothing we'd be able to do either… They'd taken away our guns, etc… If you want to claim this is nothing but a conspiracy – why don't you – for yourselves see what laws are up coming, due, being discussed, and has been passed. Thank you!

    Liked by 4 people

    1. I am so sorry for what you’ve been through. I can’t imagine how hard it must be be to live through that kind of terror. What you’ve gone through in your life has clearly left its mark on you and yet, you’re still a strong, confident woman. Please allow me to extend my deepest respect and best wishes. I’m so happy that you found a trustworthy person with whom you can share your life.

      As someone who has been the victim of assault in a public bathroom, you are all too aware of the danger many of us face in a culture that has for too long allowed sexual assault be treated with far too little concern and often with very little consequences for the perpetrators. And, as I’m sure you know, this goes on not just in bathrooms, but on buses, subways, taxi cabs, public parks, schools (as it happened to you), and many other places.

      What I would urge you to consider is that these acts are all already illegal, but have happened anyway. So-called Peeping Tom’s hide in places and take video. And this is beyond outrageous and these acts deserve our outrage. But the transgender community dies not. We are already failing to keep people safe from this and a change in bathroom policy will NOT change those statistics. But it will discriminate against the trans community. Sexual assault is already illegal. So, the argument that a man could dress as a woman to gain entry is silly. If this hypothetical man wanted to assault a woman/girl, he could simply walk in and do it. If he’s already willing to commit rape, he’s surely willing to walk into the “wrong bathroom.” And if this hypothetical man wants to sexually assault a boy/man, then this policy wouldn’t even begin to address that.

      If we want to stop people from committing sexual assault in public bathrooms by barring people entry, we’d need to put a lock on the door and not opening it for anyone.

      Truly, I think family-style bathrooms are a good solution for everyone here (although I have no idea how difficult it would be to implement). But aside for family bathrooms (which many Targets already have, btw), these bathroom policies do absolutely nothing to stop people from committing any crime at all. They hurt the LGBT community greatly and help no one. I am truly sorry for what has happened to you and I will continue fighting to make changes that will lead to actual increased safety, but this will not. Peace.

      Liked by 3 people

    1. Target has had this policy for years. As well as Starbucks and Barnes and Noble. And Walmart is staying mum on this which kind of makes me think they have the same policies or are just not taking an official stand either way. They did enact a pro-transgender employee policy. Pro trans bathroom laws have been enacted in 17 states and 225 cities with no incidences of the law being used or taken advantage of to harm women or children. <<That is based on statements by law enforcement and civil and human rights groups in those places.

      Liked by 3 people

      1. Yes, Walmart has a trans inclusive policy… I know, I work for Walmart as Asset Protection (security) and I am transgender. The policy went into effect in 2014, while they’re anti-discrimination policy was updated to include Gender Identity and Gender Presentation in 2012. The policy is more specific to Associates than Customers, but does cover customers and vendors. As for the bathroom question, the policy allows for the use of the restroom that accords with an individual’s identity and presentation. So yes, Wal-Mart is staying quiet, but has been trans-inclusive (at least on the corporate and policy level) for years now.

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  63. The “fear mongering” are from people like you who has corrupted the definition of “bigot’ to manipulate the legal system to form your own anarchy in order to attempt genocide against the Aryan race!! History is repeated itself.

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  64. I, too, am a mother, a strong woman, and a rape survivor. I have terrifying thoughts of what the world will be like when my child is an adult. But I have never thought for even a moment that he was in danger by using a public restroom that a transgender or other LGBT person may also be using. This is a community of people who have been ostracized for so long from the main stream. It’s time to stop the exclusion of human beings based on unfounded fear. I thought we were heading in that direction, that inclusion was the mantra of the new generation. I was so very wrong.

    I grew up in an LGBT household — my parents (both women) hid their relationship out of fear of retribution or acts of hatred by those who simply didn’t understand. They have been together for more than 33 years. I applauded the progress our country was making with regard to equality, and then this happened.

    I’m saddened by the direction our country is heading. It would be so easy to continue moving through my every day life and not concern myself with the injustices that are occurring EVERY. SINGLE. DAY because it doesn’t directly effect my life. There are so many things wrong with these new laws being passed. We are re-entering an age where discrimination is legal, applauded and encouraged. Why? Why are *you* so afraid of LGBT people? After all, they are just people, right? What difference does it make to *YOU* which bathroom they use, which gender they identify with, who they lay next to at night? Does this directly affect *YOU*? Of course not. Unless you are looking through the windows, or underneath the stall door, you would have NO IDEA what is happening. And if you are looking…doesn’t that make *YOU* the violator? The peeping tom? The pedophile? Why is it okay for you to question someone about their sexual identity? What makes that your business? There is no good answer to these questions.

    Thank you for writing such a poignant article. Thank you for bringing to light the blatant inequality, fear based logic, misinformation, and apathy. All of these things should be in the forefront of every mind and heart.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. There have been quite a few instances of men peeping in changing rooms and videotaping under stalls in Target already, but now I’m the bad guy because I say it’s a problem?

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      1. Surprise! Those people who did that? They were gonna do it whether there was a fancy new law that let them or not.

        Same thing as saying ‘we should outlaw guns!’ People who are gonna do illegal shit with guns aren’t going to care that they’re outlawed. They’re going to keep on doing.

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    2. Thank you Melissa. I thought we were headed in the right direction too. This has all been disheartening. Some of the comments here, the things some people are saying about LGBT is truly awful and sad and disturbing. I do, however, think that MOST of us are moving towards inclusion. I think most of us are nonjudgmental. It’s just the worst of us are the loudest. I have to remind myself of that all the time. I see some huge changes though. My daughter (middle school) has a friend who is openly gay. And all of the other kids aren’t even phased by it. It makes me grateful for the brave men and women who were “out” before and paved the way for this kid. And I think he must be incredibly brave, even now, to have the courage to be who he truly is. So much of the anti-LGBT rhetoric is based in fear and ignorance.

      Liked by 2 people

  65. I’m not a mother, and I’m a very strong woman, so while I felt no threat (and infact only felt sheer joy for the equality for my trans peers) I 100% understand the concern of children and other woman who don’t carry around pepperspray. It is so refreshing to hear the point of view of a mother, and all parents who shoulder concern should take equal precaution as you.

    A victim of sexual assault, it enrages me how people allow, and have turned numb, to the injustices that surround the female body just because it doesn’t directly effect them (or so they think). But as soon as a corporation steps out of the status quo everyone loses their shit.

    Thank you for your words & your research. This is by far one of the most powerful pieces I’ve read.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much Melissa. I think a lot of us who have survived sexual assualt/abuse or rape are really disgusted that groups like the AFA (American Family Association) is hyping this up. And that people are so willingly buying into it. Especially given that this is not a new policy. The AFA just saw an opportunity and seized it.

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  66. You probably also think that the pharmaceutical companies who pay for multi million dollar studies to say their drugs are “perfectly safe” are really truly safe, too. You probably think the homeless people who are the loudest, the drunkest, and shoot up the most drugs are just actors hired by building developers – right? What will the weather be like on your planet?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Tom, everything has a risk, even consuming food poses a risk. As for the drugs, I will gladly keep paying, and taking, my medication (including my seizure medication) to prevent possibly fatal outcomes that would occur without said medication.
      While we’re discussing debatable opinions you have, we’ll cover the homeless population next. Homeless people are not the loudest, drunkest and most drugged people. I’ve seen more housed people that are stoned off their ass that they can’t even speak a complete sentence, some that drink every night and repeatedly beat their spouses and children. Your statement is reeking of judgement and bullshit.

      As for trans-safe bathrooms. What planet have you been living on? Men are not the only people capable of sexual assault. There are just as many, just as violent, female sexual predators. But, no one wants to think about that, nor acknowledge that fact.
      Trans people are not the scum of the earth that people think they are. Men, and women, that want to assault someone will assault someone, regardless of policy. Just because you say no, doesn’t mean they’re going to listen.

      Liked by 2 people

  67. I have been complaining and fighting all the other violence against women, too. Women are assaulted everyday and it’s a big problem. Don’t judge everyone that you disagree with, and don’t misrepresent their concerns.

    But it’s interesting that you mention looking out for homeless women and children because right after the city of Toronto passed an access law that allowed men to self-identify as women, a man, Christopher Hambrook used that law to stay on the women’s side of the homeless shelter. Right from the day he said he was a woman and needed to be on the women’s side he was peeping through the cracks on the showers and looking at women as they undressed. Eventually, he assaulted two women staying in the shelter, one of whom was handicapped. Are you looking out for these women?

    You have decided for you what isn’t a concern, and I am an intelligent, informed woman and I have decided that these access laws are a breach of women’s security and privacy. That’s an opinion I will hold and your judging and name calling won’t shut me up. And I follow and concern myself with most of those women’s issues you covered. Don’t judge.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Sigh… I will say it again. I am not singling *you* out. There is a thing called the collective “you.” I am simply saying that this huge swell of hysteria is a head scratcher when real violence has been happening to women and children all this time. By the way, this has been Target’s policy all along. They just restated it in light of the oppressive and discriminatory laws being passed in places like N.C. These stores (and many many others) have had these pro-transgender policies, as well as 12 other states. For years, they’ve had these laws. No issues. No increases in danger or assault. Those are FACTS. You can look them up or click on one of the links in my article. By the way, I have not called anyone names. Not my style.

      Liked by 3 people

      1. So you’re not judging me personally. You’re judging all the people who have opinions like me, got it.

        The “hysteria” is that the powers that be are saying the new normal is to not allow privacy in locker rooms and bathrooms. That new normal will say that my daughter will have to compete with biologically male competitors on her sports teams, which is demonstrably not fair. Obviously, Target isn’t the worst place, but it’s the only place we can show displeasure. There’s no way to boycott the IL Supreme Court when they have mandated the HS take away the privacy curtain that the physiological boy was using when he changed in the girls’ locker room (rendering it unusable for many teen girls). When is enough enough?

        And when you say there have been no increases in danger or assault that’s not quite true. The Toronto incident happened right after the access law was passed and there are dozens more incidents. Not to mention Target itself has had quite a few peeping and videotaping incidents in their stores, yet even with those issues has to announce to any man interested that they will be able to spend time in the women’s restroom if they want. This policy just gives time and opportunity to those that want to find the right target to videotape or barge in on. Don’t take away my right to call the police when I see a man in the ladies room.

        And I realize that you don’t think you have called anyone names, but if you can look at the article objectively you have said– “People who don’t agree with me about fighting against the Target boycott also are not willing to fight about or care about other women’s issues where women get hurt.” That’s an ad hominem stereotype and you have no statistical evidence to support it, so, like I said, you are judging a whole group of people based on NO evidence.

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        1. I’m not judging you. I don’t look down on anyone who has a differing opinion. I don’t think I’m always right about things. The WHOLE point I was trying to make (which it seems like thousands upon thousands of people understood) was that the Target bathroom is not the problem. Target has ALWAYS had this policy. They just restated it in light of the NC bill. Every time you have used a Target restroom this policy was there already. As well as in many other places. And schools and public buildings (check out the Civil Rights Act) And as for my “calling names”… again… I am questioning an outcry of a million people. Over a policy that’s been in place for years. They have every right to protest and boycott. I have every right to call it into question. And if you think that LGBT people are “less than” or sick or deranged then, yes, I don’t have to respect your beliefs. (Those red words are hyper links. You can click on them and see more details. Including my article about not needing to respect beliefs that involve bigotry and discrimination.)

          Liked by 2 people

        2. I responded to those issues. But you are pretending that you didn’t claim (in the initial blog post) to know that based on our opposition to Target allowing men into the bathroom– by that one issue– you know that we have ignored and not concerned ourselves with any other women’s health and security issue. That is false and that is judging and stereotyping.

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        3. Fear of trans individuals in restrooms is grounded in false and stereotyping logic, so im not quite so sure you understand hypocrisy as well as you believe to.

          This is not an issue of semantics.

          Liked by 2 people

        4. What iI do not understand is why you assume that the “haters” are all religous! I see a generation of people who really dislike and yes are prejudist against all Christians…you blame any contradictions of your feelings on “Christians”. Not all Christians are bigoted people! But I see a group of tolerent people, that are the most intolerant people that I know. I live my life the way that I feel is right, and others may live their life another way…I don’t agree with it, but that is my right, as it is theirs! But where do we draw the line? If a 6ft 200lb young man identifies as a young woman, and applies for a woman’s scholarship…is that fair. Please don’t hate me, because I do not have not issue with that person, I am just asking? There are some cases when “right” and “wrong” are not the issue. If 98% of a group are against something and 2% are for it, what is the answer? If we all were as tolerant as we say we are, maybe we could work it out.

          Liked by 1 person

        5. Who said anything about haters, religion, or Christianity? Your comment is the first I’ve seen those words mentioned here. Confised.

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        6. And somewhere something bad happened to somebody, sometime…but what is more likely? A piece of space junk falls, should we never go outside because it might happen again? Somebody drives a car without their seat belt fastened and isn’t hurt badly in their car crash. Does that make it reasonable to NOT wear you seat belt in a moving car? Somebody carries a loaded gun into an elementary school and nobody gets shot. Does that mean its safe…a good idea? All of us have to calculate on our own what is good, what is bad, what is dangerous, what doesn’t matter that much, yes each of us has to do that. In the end deciding and acting on what is the least dangerous, least painful and choosing what we determine causes the least harm is the best we can do.

          Who ever, not long ago, thought letting your child visit a priest (are you now afraid of all priests) or the Speaker of the House (are you now afraid of all older white guys in a suit?) could be in the least dangerous or harmful? Who ever thought they would hear a national presidential candidate disparage women, repeatedly in public for all to hear…and then be lauded for that behavior? Odd that you a person would find one single incident out of thousands of similar incidents and from that one aberration decide that all such incidents would be a danger. Fear is a powerful motivator and logic has little of any sway in the thinking or the conclusions. That’s why dictators, political operatives and scam artists use it as their rallying cry more often than any other.

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        7. anniebwanny…

          …so these bigoted laws force people that were born male to always use a “men’s bathroom,” and those born female to use “women’s bathrooms,” even if they have transitioned outwardly…

          …all to prevent your scenario of a male going into the bathroom and saying he is transitioning to female and peeping…

          …so what are you going to do now that hateful laws like the one in N.C. will now allow a man to go into a woman’s restroom and say he has to be there because he lies and says he was born female?

          These laws don’t fix anything and don’t protect anyone. You are living in an alternate reality if you really believe they do, beyond the fact that bathrooms are not where predators go to prey on victims, namely because they are usually someone you know.

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        8. Ok, here’s something to think about. You are worried about this stuff happening in the women’s bathroom. The only thing this changes really, is the fact that it could POTENTIALLY happen to both boys and girls. Nobody hollers or even thinks about the fact that these things you are so worried about happening in the women’s bathroom could very well already be happening in the men’s bathroom. These same rapists and such you are so worried about going after women and girls could very well already be happening to men and boys. You don’t have to use public restrooms, or better get, find the ones that only allow one person at a time. The people in the LGBT community ARE STILL PEOPLE! Would you like people to discrinate against you because you are different? I live in NC and am very disappointed in the state government for passing HB2. Not only did it cause this whole bathroom drama, but what most people.do not know is that it took away people’s right to file suit in the state courts when it comes to discrimination. And that doesn’t just apply to the LGBT community, but everyone in the state! Please before you go supporting some idiotic thing like HB2, read the whole thing!

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        9. If someone wants to peep at or assault someone else, they will find a way to do so regardless of any access laws. Boycotting Target isn’t going to change that. Instead of Boycotting the laws, I strongly encourage these people to petition for harsher punishment for those who peep and assault. Let’s not punish the victims but punish the abusers!

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        10. she is just giving her opinion, how she sees things, everyone sees things differently, I think and I could be wrong are just looking for someone to argue with. These are her words, her opinion, Got it?

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      2. While you justify and mollify your clearly shaming accusations by saying that “you” is being used collectively, keep in mind that it is also being received collectively, in a personal way. An accusing rant re: your original post, makes you personally appear to be an angry, self righteous individual, who sees everyone else as negligent (with their “cherry picked morals”) and perceptionally inferior to your personal vast awareness and wisdom. “Sighing” and “eyerolll” type of innuendos make you appear immature, unwise, and as a petulent child. None of which garner respect for your opinion or influence. You have no idea what “everyone” thinks, feels, nor has done in the areas you accuse of negligence. Because the most common sexual offender is someone close (family member, friend, etc) does not negate the concern of this complex issue regarding the safety of women and children, and the privacy and sanctity of a woman’s restroom, while trying to assist the needs of a transgenger. Everyone’s needs should be respected. We know that unisex bathrooms has been a topic for sometime now, which I am opposed to. I personally think this current issue will inevitably lead us in the direction of unisex bathrooms, simply because there is no legal way to verify transgender from straight. The aggressive response to Target indicates the opportunity people have to finally make their voice be heard, to make known that the majority of people, both male and female genders, do not want males sharing women’s facilities. Your differing opinion does not make you more wise and experienced, and therefore “everyone” else less informed or aware. The vocal, pushy minority can steam roll over the majority for a time, until the majority says “enough”.

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    2. While yes that was terrible. That said how many thousands of customers hetero pedophiles breach safe space every day.
      It’s a sad state when women shelters have security fencing and lock down to keep out the abusive partner of their relationships.

      See. None of this acutely affects me. But it affect those like me.

      Where is your want for sex offenders and pedophiles to not be allowed access to public restrooms??

      Extend your thinking and then by association clergy, and males by statistic should not share bathrooms with boy because there may be a predator among them.

      I am trans and in a relationship with a great guy. So no I’m not checking out the other ladies or women in the restroom. However I can tell you you share it with Lesbian that are attracted to the same sex.

      And what is you solution if one day my partner see fit to beat me and put me in fear for my life. Would you turn me away from that women’s shelter? Am I less human than you?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. That is MY point. When I go into a bathroom and see a man in makeup how do I know the genuine trans from the sex offender? How? There is a genuine difference in strength between men and women and sexual assaults are at epic levels, 9 of 10 assaults directed at women. So until you develop a portable psychologist that I can carry to the bathroom to find out who really is trans and who is the sex offender I will prefer to keep all biological males out of my bathroom. You have the option of using the single user/family bathroom if you would like, but I have never seen a report of an assault on a trans person that using their preferred bathroom would have stopped.

        If you are trying to be a woman, you need to understand the reality of security and privacy that women face every day.

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        1. So you will also keep your (hypothetical or actual) biologically male children out of the women’s room, right?

          I mean, when they get to be like 3 and 4 and know the difference between what we classify as male and female parts, they should no longer be in the same bathroom as those of a different gender, right? I’ve been in bathrooms where 4 year old boys have peaked under the stall to look at me while they were in the bathroom and I felt violated.

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        2. Approximately 4/5 of rapes are committed by someone known to the victim. And 82% of sexual assaults were perpetrated by a non-stranger. Dismantling rape culture will do much more to protect you then worrying about the person who’s trying to pee in the closed stall next to you. Also, not all men are attracted to women in the first place.

          Liked by 1 person

    3. I don’t get the act of having your gender altered anyway but for those that have they are committed to being what their appearance is. I find it ridiculous but I can see why they would want to use the restroom with the gender they have chosen. For people who use this to peep, rape or whatever is objectionable they are not transgender; they are perverts and should be prosecuted as such. If you find that as disgusting as I do then be logical about it. Transgender, what the Hell; perverts put them in prison or kill him. Personally I prefer the latter.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. When I walk into the restroom and see a man in a dress there, I can’t tell which they are. Can you? The access to anyone is the problem. Let’s be honest here, if someone was really committed and had done treatments I wouldn’t have any idea they were a man. In fact, in most states, including NC, once the surgery is done they can legally change their BC. So it isn’t really an issue of transgenders, it’s men with penises and telling all of them, including the 100’s of thousands of sex offenders, “Come on into the women’s restroom, they can’t kick you out!”

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        1. What’s a little perplexing is that somehow, you think that just because “anyone” will be allowed in, that somehow this will get worse. Did every public bathroom install blood test scanners when I wasn’t looking? Open door policy -is in effect right now-. If you see a man in a dress in a women’s restroom, you know what you do if you feel unsettled? Keep an eye on the person. If they’re washing their hands and leaving, then let them do whatever they want. When they start to do things that are questionable? Report them, throw them out, call the police. Because at the end of the day, a “man” in a women’s restroom isn’t something worth ire. It’s a man in a women’s restroom (or a man in a man’s or a woman in a woman’s or a woman in a man’s) doing illegal things that’s worth your ire. It’s indecency and immorality and illegal acts done on each other that’s worth your ire. If you want to protect the bathroom, then do it, be my guest. If you want to play hall monitor and have everyone pinky swear that they’re only doing number 1 or 2 in there, then that’s your prerogative. But you better get on it now, because the state that you’re so afraid of is in effect as we speak.

          Liked by 1 person

        2. So I wait to see if he kicks open the flimsy stall door while I’m in there. I guess I’ll know then. Gotcha. I’d prefer to just send the message that none can be in there so I can call the cops, and I’d prefer not to give predators open access for more casing and opportunity. But if sitting there waiting for an assault (when dozens of assaults, peeping and videotaping have occurred before) is the price I pay for being as good as you people I guess I will just shut up and take it.

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        3. soooo you seriously think you have not already used the same restroom as a transgender already? I’m willing to bet they didn’t kick your stall door in. Also, do you ask people what they are peeing from in the bathroom? Person beside me could have a penis and I’ll never know. Why? Because I don’t look. I don’t ask. I don’t care. Someone who wants to take advantage of this will do so without the law…

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        4. I realize that. No one cares if a transgender person is in there that looks just like a woman, but I want to be able to kick out an obvious man, because it’s a security issue. Do you realize that there are 100’s of thousands of registered sex offenders in this country that are looking for opportunities to find women (9 in 10 rapes) alone and in isolated places. Hello, that’s what a bathroom is. And contrary to what this writer asserts, assaults, peeping and videotaping have already occurred, it is irresponsible to open bathrooms to even more issues.

          Liked by 1 person

    4. You do not realize then that Trans Men look like, men and that if they are required by law to use the women’s bathroom, then any man could walk into a women’s restroom.

      Liked by 1 person

    5. Who in the world has told you to “shut up”? Nobody, the hysteria and victimization of those of you who are getting *reacted to* as you claim you’re being “shut up” is really incredulous.

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      1. The following is what I posted on yet another thread that points the pedophile finger at the transgendered community.

        I will speak for my self and my group of friends that have survived molestation – not one of us was accosted by a stranger in a public restroom. Does it happen to women – yes! Is that horrible yes. However, the extremely vast number of pedophiles are people in our lives that we trust. Fathers, stepfather, uncles, stepbrothers, beloved neighbor, pastor, priest, boy scout leader, need I go on? If a pedophile is going to dress up as a woman to get into a public restroom – HE WAS ALREADY DOING IT! This is not a transgendered issue but an issue of the safety of our most vulnerable. Lets enact laws that actually punish the pedophile, how about laws that protect the small number of children that come forward? I don’t see anyone addressing this issue. It isn’t about liberal/conservative or somewhere in between, it is about punishing the ones that are committing the crimes and lets not vilify and entire section of people for the crimes they have not committed.

        Unfriend me if you must but lets look at the real issue, pedophiles don’t get punished at the level they should. Let’s fix that!

        I totally agree and I loved your writing. How do you read all these comments and not just want to hit your head against a wall?

        Liked by 2 people

        1. Julie, your comment is epic and perfect. Thank you. And I didn’t read all of the comments. I had to ignore them at times to keep my sanity. And yes, there was a lot of banging the head on the desk this week. BUT, there were so many amazing comments and messages here and on FaceBook. I have been repeating to myself that the angry are always louder than the peaceful and loving and accepting.

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        2. Julie’s perspective, as well as your own are duly noted and respected. However to refer to her post as being anything resembling “peaceful and loving and accepting” is hugely erroneous. It was just the opposite; a self righteous, accusing, shaming, insulting, chastising projection to everyone but herself. It takes maturity to accept that others who see things differently than you, are not necessarily wrong or unaware, and to learn how to navigate through ones feelings and communicate intelligently and without insult. Headbanging, sighs, and eyerolll innuendos indicate nothing more than ignorance and immaturity.

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        3. Caroline, she and I were referring to the many racist and bigoted anti-LGBT comments on here. Not with the comments of those who disagree with what I wrote. Believe me, I write about many controversial issues and I have no problem with people disagreeing. I may debate them and counter their points, but I am under no illusion that everyone will agree with me. If I had an issue with dissenters, I certainly couldn’t blog. There are people on here saying that LGBT people are freaks and mentally ill and deranged. There have been a number that have treaded into racism. Those are the comments we’re referring to. It’s disheartening to see so many people still harbor hatred for others simply for being different from themselves. Headbanging, and sighing are ways we (many bloggers) add effect to our words. If I say “sigh” it’s likely because I’ve had to repeat a statement over and over. Or because someone is directly contradicting or misrepresenting something I wrote or said. As to my post, “cherry picked morals” refer to people who are anti-LGBT based on moral beliefs. The link in red goes into more detail about that statement. Sorry if that rubs anyone the wrong way, but I can’t abide by or respect beliefs that condemn a group of people for simply being who they were born to be. This, as most blog posts, is an opinion piece. Yes, I was fiery and angry. I think I explained pretty clearly why, but to be very clear, I’m angry that huge masses of people are being swayed by misinformation by the AFA (deemed a hate group by the Southern Poverty and Law Center) that has a political agenda. I’m angry that the problem is that we let sex offenders off too easy and THAT is what puts people in danger, not a policy at Target that’s been in place for years.

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        4. Yes I can better see where you’re coming from. By the way, as a point of interest, there are many of us (referring to myself) who are not being influenced by the AFA, or other ill informed sources, yet simply of our own free thinking will, our personal beliefs, choose to hold ideals that may differ from yours. And it flows from our love of Heavenly Father and striving to be obedient to him, not from being misinformed, ignorant, or unaware. This may be what you are deeming “cherry picked morals” (not sure what you mean exactly). I am a Christian and seek to live humbly, with love and kindness for all. I also seek to abide by the guidance of my Father in Heaven as best I can in this mortal journey, and in my imperfect state because I find I’m happier when I do. I want to acknowledge there are extremists out there full of hate who profess to love and serve God while they abuse, harm and punish those whom “they judge” as not following God’s law. This is most unfortunate because charity is actually the greatest law of our Father, and the greatest gift we can receive from Him. Christians who truly strive to live what they profess to believe should not be clumped in with extremists who simply do their own evil under the guise of Christianity. It’s important to differentiate and understand the difference. True Christians strive to navigate through these moral dilemmas by being obedient to our Father in Heaven, while showing love to their fellow man. True Christians have morals and ideals that flow directly from their personal relationships with our Father in Heaven, not from the AFA, FRC, or “cherry picked morals”. Ypu are either gifted or crazy to have an opinion blog. Hate mongering and grappling for opinions to be changed, often becomes a forum of interacting in a field of dysfunction , bearing little ability to influence for good. Everyone wants a platform to be heard, while many aren’t seeking to learn. Good luck in your cause if it serves God. I thank you for your thoughtful reply.

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  68. I’ll tell you why this is great, because above this comment are multiple opinions that might not have expressed in the same way without first reading yours.
    It takes a strong mind to write about these things. I’m not just talking about coming up with the words to convey the thought, but knowing and accepting that there will be any feedback, good or bad, and dealing with it the way you did.
    Well done.
    -Ryan

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  69. As a female, I would rather share a public restroom with a transgender female than with any of the hate-filled, fear-mongering bigots out there. Just sayin’

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      1. Nah honey, I’m straight and have four adult children to prove it. I call it as I see it, and if you look up the words I used in any dictionary you will find them apt descriptions of those who are against these folks using the bathroom THEY feel comfortable with. “Hate-filled” and “fear-mongering” are descriptions, NOT names. As for bigots – Merriam-Webster – Definition of bigot. : a person who is obstinately or intolerantly devoted to his or her own opinions and prejudices; especially : one who regards or treats the members of a group (as a racial or ethnic group) with hatred and intolerance. I rest my case.

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  70. I think most people woman are uncomfortable taking a crap with a man in the restroom. If you were born a man your a man it may suck ,but it is true. Although , we don’t have very many morals left as a country there is still a tiny bit and I’m sure those are slowly going out the window . I am so so sick of hearing all this hate bull if you don’t go along with everything they call it hate….that is crazy. It seems to me the only hate is the other side of the issues..

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  71. I made it as far as “Where have you been?”. Which, honestly, is further than I thought I’d make it to.

    Where have I been? Dealing with more important things like…well, just about ANYTHING under the sun, that’s where. Stop trying to recruit me for your quest to find a solution to a 27th tier problem that doesn’t really exist in a meaningful capacity.

    Liked by 1 person

  72. Thanks for voicing this. I agree. Four days after writing this, a young Navajo girl was kidnapped, molested and killed. If you find the original news articles before they found her body, people’s biggest concern was being woken up by the Amber Alert. Funny how much concern is shown over actual bad things happening, versus concern shown over perceived differences and risk.

    Liked by 1 person

  73. I didn’t read the whole thing. I’ve been there the whole time. Rape and abuse are things that I understand on a fundamental level, because I’m still working my way through the healing process from both. My daughter was even stillborn at 30 weeks because of physical abuse.

    I would never deny someone the right to use the bathroom wherever they’re most comfortable, but why is it that when I say I want to use a single-occupant bathroom because of my own demons, that makes me a bigot? My situation involved other men and women, so the thought of using the bathroom with anyone else is frightening to me.

    There is far too much hate being flung around. I am not against anyone doing whatever it is that makes them feel safe and comfortable, so why can’t the same compassion be extended toward me?

    Liked by 3 people

  74. No. This is not about fear of attack, and making attack the issue is an ugly tactic to delegitimize other valid concerns and the fact that my civil rights should not be violated to implement a progressive usurping of morality. The fact that the majority of people who are discussing this are saying, “Bravo” and “Kumbaya” is thoroughly disheartening – and terrifying. Stop saying that your rights to trample on American law and constitution are permissible because your fighting a ‘righteous’ cause. I don’t want to share a bathroom with a man. PERIOD. And the solution is simpler and more fair than imposing your self righteous, condescending and tyrannical judgement upon an America which you have deemed too conservative, slander with “Republican’ as if slapping this monicker on any individual or situation deems it dirty and unholy: Make a selection of bathrooms transgender. Therefore anyone can go in to those bathrooms. We can call them COED just like they used to be called, just as the term would still encompass any choice, and those who wish to use a bathroom designated for their gender would still have THAT RIGHT to do so. Don’t take away my rights because you’re a self righteous monster imposing your judgment and choices on me as you accuse me of being “Old Fashioned” or “Conservative” or “Republican.” In any building there can be offered a COED bathroom and the fact that this has not been the case is simply indicative of the Liberal Asses which have become the Big Brother, the Thought Police. The Left has become a bigger monster than the one they’ve been fighting these many decades. And that has torn apart our society.

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    1. We have to ask why are they not asking for a restroom of their own??? All I can come up with is these people want to be the other gender so badly that I feel if they can get the privilege to come into our restroom somehow they will feel Mich more a man or woman. That’s not the case . noatter how hard you try your always going to look as you are .

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      1. We have to ask why are they not asking for a restroom of their own??? All I can come up with is these people want to be the other gender so badly that they feel if they can get the privilege to come into that restroom somehow they will feel much more a man or woman. That’s not the case . Nomatter how hard you try your always going to look as you are .

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  75. Love it! Love everything about it! You have made so many good points in your post, and I just want to take the time to share that with you! You have raised some good points that I have never thought of before, but you are right on the money!!

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  76. You do realize that these people who worry for the safety of their children have been home, parenting? That’s the answer to the where were you question. If we want to stop behavior in adults, the BEST way is to start with children.

    These are the people who aren’t standing on a soap box preaching about the injustice, safety, and other issues surrounding rape, they are the most important agents of change as they are raising the next generation. Have you considered the fact that being a victim of sexual abuse can increase the likelihood of that victim growing up to be an abuser, particularly in males? Sorry that they weren’t public enough for you. Shall I make a blog post about being a stay at home mom so I can do what I can to pour into my son values and life lessons that he won’t get from our currently depraved society. I’m not saying everyone of the people whom are boycotting target are mothers, but the large majority of them are probably parents seeing as they are showing concern for children’s safety. And even if they aren’t parents, I appreciate their concern for my child even though they have no personal stake in his upbringing and/or safety.

    Furthermore, most people don’t take up an issue until it strikes a cord with them. It has to hit home. They have to be jolted out of their rose colored stupor. When white people joined the civil rights movement, were they turned away because they were late to the party? Absolutely not. I believe that if this issue did not surround gender identity but rather a less polarizing topic you wouldn’t have taken such offense.

    I haven’t boycotted Target. Heck, they’re the best store for me to buy our Honest Company Diapers because my son simply walking around without a cute print on his bum is not an option. Plus, they have giant packs of Mamba for $1 (winning). However, I take issue with this because it ignores those of us who aren’t in support of a bathroom free for all because of our children. Sorry that our active parenting offends you. I would rather my son and anyone else’s child not have to experience any form of perversion than bend to this new definition of gender equality. I say perversion because anyone who does not think a predator would take that opportunity is deluding themselves for the sake of political correctness.

    I also take issue with this post because I’m actually raising a black son. Though he isn’t yet 2, I know more than anyone the injustices directed towards black boys and men. The rejection that, even at 1 years old, my son has already experienced due to the color of his skin. So maybe I didn’t scream off the rooftops and jump on WordPress, Twitter and other platforms to express my indignation but that isn’t to say that the topic doesn’t hit home for me.

    So forgive me if I don’t jump on the band wagon or join in the slow clap. Well written post nonetheless but, clearly, I disagree.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I feel like I’ve been trolled by this entire post. Are we talking about gender identity? Target? Racial injustice? Sex crimes? If you were trolling the entire WordPress community, congrats. Most effective troll ever.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Wait, I didn’t mean to like that. You’re just another asshole trying to get away with it because you’re a Christian and you get to say things like this out of your “righteous anger”.

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        1. Right back at you, dear. Now go tell someone about your loving God whilst you rant about “perversion”. Ugh.

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    2. But that is the issue: this isn’t a “free for all”. This is allowing those who identify as women to use the ladies room. You would have NO IDEA if a trans woman walked into the bathroom with you. It isn’t bugs bunny in a wig for crissakes. And again this rule has ALWAYS been in place. Always. We are just hearing about this because of the legislation trying to be passed.

      People such as yourself are so wrapped up in your own issues and fear you don’t see the bigger picture. Do you really and think that predators are going to be like “OH! I can dress like a woman and enter a bathroom and assault people now! YES!” Because in all these years a man has never attacked, assaulted or molested someone while hiding in a bathroom.

      Not to mention, what about our boys? Are they not also worth keeping safe. After all, it would be a female to male trans in the men’s room and I highly doubt they would be a predator.

      Who is being delusional now?

      Liked by 2 people

      1. If you check the Discover section there is another post on this subject by a woman who is genderqueer (her words). She is biologically a woman and wants to stay that way but dresses in a way that leads people to question her entrance into the ladies’ room. She says herself that she knows of people who have been stopped and she has been stopped before entering into the ladies room. This is relevant to my point because it is against social norms for a man to enter a ladies’ room and a woman to enter the men’s room so it raises a red flag when it’s done, even if the flag raiser is in error.

        With this change, it will cause people not to question which allows predators even more access. I believe these attacks would increase as a result. You’re blinded by the subject matter rather than the obvious hurdles this creates for parents. The issue isn’t if the individual is trans, the issue is if they are not.

        I’m sorry that you view parenting as an issue or a fear. I haven’t ever been victimized by sexual predators but I still know they exist. I’m overwhelmed by your sensitivity. It is a good thing I hadn’t been abused sexually because your one mindedness could have really been devastating to my healing. It’s odd that you would approach the subject so recklessly considering what is being discussed in this actual post. I have, however, done some mentoring and I would say 80% of the teens I mentored had experienced some form of sexual abuse. It is a major issue any parent would be negligent to not safeguard his/her child(ren) from this very real threat.

        Furthermore, the author was asking where those parents were, I’m telling her. Many of them are raising children hopefully in a way that would work towards eradicating the issues she addresses in future generations.

        And yes, our boys do need to be kept safe. If you reread my post I specifically said I have a son and I specifically mentioned boys as victims. Boys go into public restrooms as well. I’m not sure what point you are trying to make here? Young boys are taken into the ladies room with their moms and the men’s room with their dads. Men are probably a little less likely to take their daughters into the men’s room though. I’m not sure on that.

        I can’t begin to guess what goes through the minds of the perverse, seeing as I’m not. I guess I better not provide any protection, guidance, parenting, discipline, or anything to my son? Shall I let him walk around outside whilst I take a nap then? Nothing to fear right? It’s not fear, it’s PARENTING. If I am nothing else in this lifetime, I am a diligent parent. If that qualifies me as delusional in your eyes, I wear the label with pride.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Good lord, the amount of speculation that you’ve inserted here is almost incredulous. It’s like all of the hysteria that gay marriage would “ruin” the sanctity of straight marriage and here we are years later and no, nothing’s happening, straight Christians are enjoying the same amount of divorce rate they did prior to gay marriage and shattering their families and children just fine on their own. Of course nothing from the Christians on that, you’re all just on to the next topic. Your speculation that somehow, transgendered human beings using the right gendered restrooms will increase the potential of abuse is vile. It is simply vile. No wonder people are leaving the church in droves.

          Like

    3. Wow, I loved your writing and your point. I think the safety of children is being threw aside by someone feeling like they can get a little self gatification getting to go into the bathroom on the sex they are longing to be.

      Liked by 1 person

  77. I agree with protecting our children. I agree with shopping at progressive stores. We simply need to combine the two and pay a little closer attention when our babes are using these new style restrooms. Soon they will be the norm and nobody will care. I’m not a fan of your writing style however. Lets try focusing on the point next time, yea? You rephrased so much that I honestly nodded off and couldn’t read to the end. *yawn*

    Liked by 1 person

  78. I hear whining about consequences of actions that were counseled against– business & politics do not mix – at least half, if not more will not share your position & since purchase decisions are emotionally driven, to push an agenda is to alienate at least half your customers immediately. Poor business management & the marketplace is sorting out the losers….. defy natural law at your peril.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. CLOSED AND LOCKED DOORS ON STALLS. have you ever seen a women’s restroom? We don’t have urinals, no one strips in the middle of the room and runs for the stall. You kids, if they saw genitalia would only be those attached to them. FFS maybe we should do organized tours of “this is how women pee and this is how boys pee, see, there’s a difference.” as an educational tool.

      Find me @ http://snarkysuccubus.com/
      Help me @ https://www.gofundme.com/diamedical

      Liked by 1 person

    2. This is a very simple solution: Don’t allow them to watch others pee. I mean…what?

      I am a woman and have been going to the bathroom in public for nearly 40 years, I have never-EVER- seen another person’s private parts in a public bathroom. And, in the case of the men’s room. I am guessing a female to male trans person would go to a stall since they do not have a penis(I’m sorry, boy parts) before surgery to use a urinal.

      You’re the kind of person who allows your kids to crawl all over the bathroom floor and look under stalls taking the privacy from others, aren’t you? You’re the real issue here, not some trans person trying to pee in peace.

      Liked by 2 people

  79. Very good letter,,
    I’m a concerned woman, I’ve been raped twice, both times living with the shame that yes it was my own fault! I was molested from 8/9 till 15- it only stopped because I was raped an pregnant – no I didn’t have the baby! In 98 it happened again & my husband turned it around on my that he was the victim! Then his demands got worse- he didn’t care! He went from an alcoholic/ drug addicted to a full blown sex addict, never enough- always watched porn! I was his whore- & no longer his wife or partner! The whole thing discusses me,
    Thank you for letting a voice be heard! Mine has lived in shame, an beating myself up for far to many years! Afraid to say anything out of fear it would happ-en again! I for one do not use public restrooms out of fear, that little lock is nothing to kick in! My step son was also molested at 3/4 – the one who did it was an older step brother, he had to move out of the house or they would lose custody of the other children in the house- nothing else was ever done!
    I was told it was my fault & to this day I have a hard time believing it wasn’t my fault! Feeling very sick & very dirty- no matter how many showers I take- I’m never clean !

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Liz Beth
      You really need to stop feeling like it’s your fault. You didn’t ask to be raped nor molested, no matter what! You didn’t say please debase me and assault me, I’m not worthy enough to feel loved and respected. There are many many women out there that don’t report being sexually assaulted and because of that, we feel like we deserved it or it was our fault. I was date raped my self and only told my boss and the man who became my husband. I felt dirty and unworthy for a long time until I realized that it was the guys fault and not mine. You deserve to be finally healed. Please, get the gelp/therapy you deserve and need soon!

      Liked by 1 person

    2. At no point was this your fault. EVER. I was 2 and my molestation didn’t stop til 13, when I was strong enough to fight back. You are worthy and you need to seek good, safe help to deal with this and learn to love yourself again. I’m still struggling with that whole feeling clean ever again, or even worth loving. I sat my fiance down and gave him the whole of my story and he didn’t run. He wrapped his arms around me and comforted me and sadly whispered “I wish I’d met you sooner, so maybe I could have found you already and stopped some of it from happening.” And I, knowing he loves me, knowing he means every word of it. Still have to fight the fear to runaway to push him away before I soil him too. Because that fear is all women like us ever know for so long that we can’t break the cycle alone. Find someone to help you.
      You are so much more than your history.

      Find me @ http://snarkysuccubus.com/
      Help me @ https://www.gofundme.com/diamedical

      Liked by 1 person

  80. My wish would be that every body could feel safe using a public restroom, no matter what. I think the problem with this is that the 10% of the population that is LGBT and of the 10% of that identifies as Transgender , which makes 1% or less of the whole population are now telling the other 99% that they have to change their way of thinking and feeling. This is what I think is causing the big arguments. And in truth, while it MAY make the Transgender feel like they won one for their side, no one wins as long as no one feels safe while in a public bathroom. There never is more than 1 more person in aNY target bathroom I’ve ever been besides my self anyway, so they should just make 3 or 4 single person bathrooms in target and then everyone will be fine. Also, targets problems right now aren’t just about the bathrooms. The dressing rooms are also now allowing the same things as the bathrooms. The dressing room issue is what more people are worried about as those mostly have doors that don’t lock and or just don’t stay closed very well at all. The dressing room areas seem to me where people would be very self conscious with members of the opposite birth certificate designated sex, especially when children are trying on clothes. I just think that this situation has gotten way more attention than it deserves. We should be worrying about safety for all and not just safety for adults alone, but the children too. That’s why I think that there needs to be single person bathrooms.

    Liked by 2 people

  81. Businesses should provide fully enclosed bathroom stalls for EVERYONE. All of us deserve privacy and respect doing our business. No under and no over. And rapes are most often committed by who we already know.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. So much this. All 7 of mine were people I knew, 5 were people I knew well and had invited in my home with my husband and child on multiple occasions. Keep your head in your stall, I’ll keep mine in mine and it won’t matter. Most ‘Bathroom Assaults” on either gender happen in dark, secluded single occupancy bathrooms, like parks and camp grounds, how anyone could think that opening up well lit, very busy public restrooms, with cameras outside the entrance/exit to them would be an “easy” target has watched too much Criminal Minds.

      Find me @ http://snarkysuccubus.com/
      Help me @ https://www.gofundme.com/diamedical
      (oh now the signature shows back up.)

      Like

  82. Your rant is as unreasonable as those who are against the new target policy because prejudice. You’re really going overboard. Where have I been? I’ve watched & protected my kids, just like you. Full time job, wouldn’t
    You say? I’ve prayed for abuse victims, fed the homeless, on my own & through soup kitchens. I’ve mentored & worked with foster kids who have, unfortunately been victims to many of the crimes you mention. When I see abuse, I speak up, I do what I can. I love my lesbian cousin to death and want
    Her To have all that makes her happy. But wh don’t
    I have the right to feel relatively safe in a target restroom? Target is not screening these people to see if they truly do identify as transgender,
    So ANY man can go in, without even being stopped, because how could anybody know if they really were? And unfortunately, as for any facts you state about no crimes being committed where such policies exist, opposite facts are also being quoted. Personally, I just want to pee in peace & do what I can to help others, in
    Whatever circumstance they may be in in real time, and
    spend less time on social media. Your rants
    Only polarize people more.

    Liked by 2 people

  83. I apologize for the behavior of the people who assault you. They are not Americans but you know that already. They don’t represent anyone but themselves and consequently their thoughts are irrelevant except in terms of how harmful they can be with cheapshots. I’m sorry. American can do better than they ever will.

    Liked by 1 person

  84. Ok so I’ve read through a bunch of the comments and this is what I have learned is that humans no matter what gender, age, or sexuality they are can all be that person to do something wrong and no major compromises are being made to equalize the situation and the only real solution I’ve heard of so far is the one comment saying to have three different bathrooms one for non transgender men, one for non trans gender women (Both of which can be used if one does not feel comfortable with transgender people using the same bathroom nothing wrong with it just their opinion based on their experiences), and one for all the people who are transgender or don’t really mind that they are using the same restroom as a transgender person. As for the complaints that were said on how they don’t “speak up” about other problems I have a few comments on it that are purely my opinion (see how i use this word “opinion” not fact). First off people out there do speak up as said previously they just haven’t been heard yet, Secondly one does not have to make a post on their opinion or have a social stand point on a problem to help solve it as said previously there are outlets such as charities to allow them to “speak up” on certain topics that they are passionate about with out having to attack others or push their opinions on to other not so like minded people they just simply help and live happily knowing they had an effect even if in a small way and that maybe the only way they can have an effect due to other circumstances.

    Just a final note as to my opinion on the whole movement while yes it’s great you identify yourself as you wish ill respect that just don’t try to force yourself as women/man on to others with a different outlook on life.

    You’re only doing what has been done to you two wrongs can’t make a right. take a look at MLK and Gandhi they solved problems not by giving back what they have received but by resisting in a peaceful manner until a compromise had been made

    All in all this is just my opinion and my findings by reading what others have said feel free to say what you will of me or even refute me i’d love to hear your retorts and see if my way of living could change to help this pass peacefully.

    Like

  85. I get your point, but you don’t really know who the Target boycotters really are. Maybe they aren’t voting for these politicians who don’t put their voting behind women’s rights. Maybe they work tirelessly to help women and children caught in the sex slave industry. It doesn’t sound like you really know them and you are making assumptions about them because of one opinion that they have. We need to stop making assumptions about people because of 1 opinion they have.

    Liked by 2 people

  86. Neither side is expressing their true agenda. Fear and blame run both sides of the debate, and neither are doing anything to solve it.

    In this case, it’s just used as a launch pad to express all the other grievances that even loosely relate.

    So, you care for men and boys too? Then where are all the statistics for those? You do realize that women can be equally as horrible of human beings? But yet, it comes down to white male rage and entitlement, the failsafe blame target.

    Women may not kill as often, but when they do, it’s more often an intimate partner than not. What about these women who use rape as a tool to destroy someone’s life, simply because they can? Do you realize that a the number of homeless men, and teens, outweigh the women by a staggering amount? Sometimes specifically because the laws favor these “unentitled” women? And even cause a vast amount to opt for suicide. These are our fathers, brothers, and sons. So, if you are so concerned with the big picture, where is all the fevered support for them?

    Somehow, radical feminism is teaching that women are free from fault, perfect humans, and men as their walking ATM, utilitarian pets. We are human too, ya know. And referring to all of us, in one big stereotype, as rapists in waiting, abusers, and the root of all evil, is doing nothing to solve the issues. Why on Earth would anyone want to support a cause that demeans and belittles us in return, tells us they don’t want us, and then complains when we back off. A no win situation.

    Truth is, the only concern about the bathrooms is men. Men in the women’s bathroom. Trans in the mensroom. Kids in the men’s bathroom. That’s what it’s all about, and that’s why there is conflict. Because no one is willing to accept that both sides can be judgemental, violent, spew hate, or sexual predators. Even if we see it every day.

    Like

  87. I’m just sick and tired of homosexuals and whatever they want to call themselves pushing their cramp on us. Very angry person. Won’t change my mind about shopping at target.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Great. You know what, I’m going to go to Target and buy some extra to make up for you. You don’t get it. You are using a computer, with energy being pumped into it because of progressives. Because of people fighting a status quo, reaching into the unknown and challenging assumptions. Many of those people were gay. Do you know about Alan Touring (the father of computing?).

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Wait, let me get this right. YOU’RE angry about homosexuals and trans people? Try walking a mile in my shoes. I’m gay and trans. I’m a second class citizen. I don’t have equal rights compared to straight people in America. I can be fired from my job for being gay and trans. I can legally be kicked out of my house for being gay and trans, if my landlord wanted to. In about half the states, I can be physically assaulted for being gay and trans and there is no hate crime law to protect me. You don’t get to be angry. You have access to everything you want in life just handed to you. I DON’T. I’M ANGRY. I’m angry at people like you who claim I’m “pushing my lifestyle on you”. I’ve done no such thing. You don’t make the laws, it’s not up to you. It’s up to the politicians. All I’m asking for is equal treatment under the law and respect, which I get neither of on a daily basis.

      Liked by 3 people

    1. Bathroom for women…. Bathroom for men….. and a unisex bathroom for anyone in between (including those who just want the extra privacy.)
      ……….
      Stops long lines.
      Avoids allowing men that are not transgender in the women’s bathroom.
      Stops aggressive behavior towards transgender.
      ………
      I keep wondering why ^^ that’s not good enough?
      ……..
      Because any alternative (that I have thought of or read about so far) simply does not have enough good to outweigh the bad that it causes…

      Liked by 1 person

  88. I certainly agree that there should be equal rights for everyone, transgender people too! It seems to me there’s always been a struggle with equality, freeing the slaves, woman’s right to vote, coming out of the closet, and now the issue of using a public bathroom regardless of your gender. I believe this all started in NC and sometimes there are biased views on gender orientation! Frankly I’m having a hard enough
    time keeping up with all the political crap going on right now in our country, could it possibly be more angry and honestly disgusting???

    Like

    1. Hmmm, ~disgusting~
      IMO ~ disgusting ~ is allowing the mentally ill to harm society.
      …………..
      Women are treated, RIGHT now, as if they are nothing more than a mammal (not human…)
      …………..
      Children are being mentally harmed from their environments being drastically changed.
      …………
      That (IMO) is truly ~disgusting~…

      Liked by 1 person

  89. @ Gretchen Kelly
    Opinion, Opinion, opinion…
    Your proofs are opinions. lol.
    And your final thought?…
    Is to drag people down for finally having something happen that opened their eyes, and made them react over these atrocities??
    …………..
    Great idea! Because telling the world about your self righteous hissy fit… will really get people involved to stop these atrocities…Way to go!

    Like

  90. Can’t we all just get along? Seriously. In my line of work (for 23 years) I counseled a lot of LGBT folks. None of these people would ever want to pretend they were somebody else just to get a peek at a woman in a bathroom or a child. None of them would wish the path they are on for their worst enemy.The ratio of pedophiles in the transgender or LGBT community is no higher than in the general population. Sexual predators, be they rapists or pedophiles are SEXUAL PREDATORS.They need to be prosecuted and locked up. Most studies have shown that “treatment” for these monsters is ineffective at best, and only teaches the perpetrator how to be more careful to avoid getting caught

    This crap that fuels this argument is just that: CRAP.

    While the television-watching public is mesmerized by these scandals and false fears, there are atrocities being perpetrated everywhere in this country and world. That is a fact.

    We need to WAKE UP PEOPLE!!!!! Turn off the television a couple of days a week and read something. Get away from the spell of the idiot tube and give your minds a chance to awaken. When you wake up, get together with others that have awoken. If we all stopped fighting over bs laws and held our legislators accountable (We pay them to represent us!) we might see some change.

    Again, Thank you for your post. P

    Like

  91. You had me up until the cop-bashing. Have you paid any attention to the news of law enforcement being killed on the job? Did you know that, in fact, children’s toy guns look so much like the real thing you can’t tell the difference unless you are actually holding one? Do you know the kind of grief an officer suffers over a bad shooting? No, I don’t believe you do. Every day, my husband straps on a Kevlar vest and hopes today isn’t the day I get the call he’s not coming home.

    So yes, while I support most of the other ideals you are supporting here, on that you are horribly uninformed.

    Like

  92. Good thoughts. But it leaves out a lot about the culture of those that are suddenly impacted, for lack of a better word. Many of the people you are criticizing are just as appalled at what is happening as you are. We weep when children are molested, women are raped, people are killed. We do help and we do discuss it and we do make changes. We fire pastors who are accused of molesting parishioners. We feed the homeless from our own pockets and volunteer our time and resources to care for the homeless and the sick. We minister to the families who lose children in a tragedy and we pray for justice and speak out against it.

    Some are boycotting Target because it is the closest the issue has ever hit home. In one breath we are told to keep our beliefs to ourselves and in another breath we are cursed for our lack of involvement. “Live and Let live,” we’re told. And then, “Where were you?”

    We don’t boycott R Kelly because we already don’t buy his ambums. There is no loss there. We may shop at Target so our absence in light of a new policy that directly impacts our families, means we have a choice to make.

    Also, not everyone knows of every story, and not everyone can fight for everything.

    Where is your outrage at the 250 muslim women killed for refusing to be ISIS sex slaves last week? Where was your outcry and the pastor and his wife who were bulldozed and buried as their church was decimated? Where is your petition for better treatment of prisoners in North Korea? Or for the abuses sufferes
    D in the porn industry? Where do you call others to accountability in threatening or assaulting police officers?

    You don’t have to respect the beliefs of others. That’s your right. But if you want to question where we are when tragedies happen, consider Compassion International, WorldVision, Samaritan’s Purse, SBC Disaster Relief, Voice of the Martyrs, Rescue Missions, Christian Aid Ministries, MAP International, Sower of Seeds International Ministries (including Red Light Rescue).

    Just because you don’t see work being done doesn’t mean it’s not; and just because you don’t hear a voice, doesn’t mean we’re silent.

    Like

    1. Thank you, well spoken with several of my own thoughts. And I am a victim with large concerns with the restroom policies and several Of the mentioned situations I know the dangers of this policy and the sexual preditor being given an open opportunity to commit his offenses easily. To the writer of Your Silence is Deafening I hope you are never the victim or your children or grandchildren. I am sure if you had been you would see how much ignorance went into your letter.

      Like

  93. I’ve never cared about transgenders using the bathroom beside me. And I’ve cared enormously, for years, about sexual assault.

    The reason I find essays like this so profoundly aggravating is you are taking the arguments from your most asinine opponents and acting as if their inability to present a clear argument somehow puts you on moral high ground.

    Some people are drawing a line here because there are larger issues involved, and this snowballing situation clearly shows the intrusion of an ideology determined to tell people with real, valid questions that they’re just bigots. Gosh, what a thought-stopping argument. Let’s not discuss ideas, just say it over and over again: Bigot bigot bigot, coward coward coward, ignorant ignorant ignorant.

    Right. I’m ignorant because I think a little boy who likes to put on dresses might not need hormone-suppressing treatments. I’m ignorant because I think encouraging little girls or little boys to put on lipstick or play with Bratz dolls is inappropriate sexualization. I’m ignorant because I think a 14-year old girl getting her period for the first time in a swimming pool locker room deserves to not be exposed to people with fundamentally different anatomy. I’m ignorant because I think our bodies are good, and telling -children- their head and body don’t match, and their body is wrong, is pretty much the definition of cruelty. I’m ignorant because a radically anti-matter ideology tells people who so much as question what the definition of T really is, or how we can tell who is fundamentally enduring that situation or who is gravitating to questioning the binary because they’ve absorbed repressive sexual roles, are bigots. Again, I’m a bigot for even having questions. So tolerant!

    I’m angry because there is an overwhelming effort to marginalize people questioning sexual stereotypes. I’m angry because I’ve been following this issue for ten years, and a bunch of know-nothing pop-culture-absorbing consumers only need to see two episodes of a Netflix show to abandon critical thought.

    I know people like me are doomed to lose these skirmishes. The overwhelming power and money are on the side of those who seek to make us ever more rootless, ever more obsessed with identity rather than community, ever more focused on pointing at the other side and shouting “Bigot!” I know silly, selfish, imperfect people have had their heads in the sand on rape culture, and so nonsense articles like this can be written and hailed as “so important.” Hormones fill the water supply and end up in the salmon. Children are bombed in the Middle East, children slave in the coltan mines, men and women die from the factory-emitted pollution around Baotou Lake, all so our decadent urban elites can continue to live highly-unsustainable lifestyles, and also feel righteous over those “cowardly” conservatives.

    But at the end of the day, you’re wrong. Not about the bathrooms, or about rape culture. You’re wrong because you’re refusing to see the larger picture, because you’re more interested in virtue signalling than first principles or logical consequences from ideas. You’re wrong because you’re so determined to preen about these issues that you’ll deny any validity on the other side. You’re wrong because you use some people’s false fears about bathroom predators to deny any reasonable skepticism about an ideology which depends solely on feelings. You’re wrong because you care more about being a victim than realizing your culture and society, the one you participate in when you waste time writing screeds like this, are the greatest threat to life on this planet.

    Enjoy your moral superiority, but to me, your head is in the sand as much as those you criticize. Maybe it’s time to value forgiveness and mercy, and change ourselves, rather than cling to superiority as the earth and poor sicken from our lifestyle. And the fact that people think this schlock is -brave-? You’re all marching lockstep and managing to think your mutual self-congratulation is somehow courageous! Now I know how the world ends, with a whimpering pat on one’s own back.

    Like

    1. Well said-and yes you will probably be singled out as a bigot or a hater simply because you are smart enough to see the big picture and try to educate others!

      Like

      1. I read this carefully and I feel that the writer is saying something important that I want to understand but I can’t figure it out. Is the writer saying that the original writer is smug and condescending and therefore no better than the people she is chastising? That’s as near as I can figure.

        Like

    2. well at least I no longer feel like my replies were novels. You’re going to prove her wrong by bringing up everything else wrong in the world. ok. have fun with that.

      Like

      1. Isn’t that exactly what the author set out to do? Prove someone else is wrong by breathlessly clutching her pearls and asking “Where were you?” on other issues?

        I set out to say there’s a decadent strain of self-righteous rhetoric which is more focused on pointing fingers than solving problems. And it has become obsessed with navel-gazing, with taking the worst arguments and pretending that’s the only argument being made, and with choosing to name-call or shout down dissent. There is no dialogue. There are only demands. And anyone who questions, not the demand, but the ideology behind the demand, is a bigot.

        The above essay was an exercise in shutting down thought, name-calling, sweeping bigger arguments under the rug in the quest to establish one’s righteous, and in explicitly engaging in the exact same behavior the author condemns. Where is she on all the other issues? Where is she on the oppression and abuse that enables her to engage in such Pharisaical behavior?

        And I did prove it. Of course my comment wasn’t tweet-sized; I think people who deal in slogans have a lot to hide. Be kind, merciful, and examine our personal motives before recklessly condemning others or perpetuating the cult of victimhood; but also, take the time to suss out the first principles and logical consequences of a philosophy. Cheap tweet-sized comments shut down thought.

        Like

    3. Yeah, you’re right. You’re pretty ignorant.

      But what would I know, as in your own words, you are as smug and self-righteous in your “knowledge” as the OP, and anyone who disagrees is an empty headed regurgitator of pop-culture. They can’t have POSSIBLY studied or watched or learned as much as you. No way.

      Like

      1. You’re right. They haven’t. Arguing about credentials on the internet is a fool’s errand, but I’m confident nonetheless. This is junk. Toxic junk. I’m pretty smug, but at least I know it, and I don’t think it would do any good to keep sitting on the bench, shrugging my shoulders and saying “Aw, gee, they called me an ignorant bigot, I better shut up and listen,” when the argument being made isn’t even an argument. It’s a cheap rhetorical ploy to wind people up and feel self-righteous. It’s the sophistry of the pharisees, and it’s abhorrent. Man, I like love and mercy, and I shut my mouth most of the time and try to pass on by, but these efforts to separate people, turn them against one another, and ignore one’s own flaws get me riled.

        I may be smug, but I know I’m a part of the most brutal, unsustainable, destructive civilization ever yet to stride the planet. And at least I have the common decency to care about those tendencies, to work on those things, rather than stick my head in the sand and waste everyone’s time and energy by engaging in moral preening because I can parrot Jezebel’s dime-store emotivism.

        Like

  94. The woman who wrote this article contradicts her own beliefs from the start. When she said, “I have always accompanied my younger kids to the bathroom in public places. When my son was too old to go into the women’s room, I would stand right outside the Men’s room door. If he was taking a while I would yell through the door, asking if he was ok. So, yes, I’m that mom.”

    Why would she stand outside the men’s room when her child was in there? Because she knows what could happen inside a bathroom…that’s why.

    Well now those same men she worried about in the men’s bathroom have an open invitation to come into the women’s restroom. Doesn’t that concern her? It should. It’s going to happen thanks to people like her who put feelings above safety.

    I get it that if a man wanted to go into a woman’s restroom in the past they could. But it did raise a red flag which definitely increased their chances of getting caught and acted as a deterrent. Now they have a free pass.

    The reason people are more passionate about this topic is because it’s a safety concern for everyone everyday.
    Not saying the other issues aren’t important because they are but issues like domestic violence, the homeless, and priests abusing children aren’t a safety risk every time we need to use a public restroom. That’s why people are so angry.
    I hope nothing bad ever happens to the people who think this is a good idea but unfortunately I think that’s what it will take to make them see the safety risk involved here.

    If you think the answer to making a restroom safer for transgender people is to make it unsafe for other people you haven’t solved anything.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I guess you didn’t get to the part where she said open bathroom policy’s have not led to an increase in assaults but have in fact decreased them for LGBT people.

      Liked by 3 people

      1. There is not enough data. No one carted about this until the unemployed gay marriage advocates had to get on a new bandwagon or get a real job.

        Like

    2. First of all, there could be a number of reasons why she was standing outside the men’s room for her son to come out once he was finished using the facilities. Lots of things could happen inside a bathroom – water on the floor could cause the child to slip, fall, and hurt themselves, the child could have a pre-existing health condition that requires her to stay nearby since the child is still a minor, she could be staying near the bathroom in case a male predator tries to convince her child to go somewhere else with him. Also, the same men who would be preying on a young boy in the men’s restroom are usually not ones to go after grown women – they have a certain taste (for lack of a better word).

      You also should read the article – the writer posts various links that prove that LGBTQ friendly bathrooms do not increase assault by any means.

      Also, if I were ever in the bathroom and a man entered with a full on beard, wearing a dress, and looking like he was up to some shady business (and not just going in, using the bathroom, washing hands, and leaving) I would definitely say something, the same way I would expect a man to ask a woman dressed as a man who enters the men’s room with no intent to use the restroom. They do not have a free pass. If a man posing as a transgender female goes into the restroom and assaults someone, that is still assault, they will still have to answer to the law. Do you think if they throw up their hands and say, “Oh, I’m sorry I touched that woman in the bathroom, but I’m transgender,” the authorities will say, “Ah! Yes! Right you are, off you go then.”

      And this is not a safety concern for everyone, every day. I don’t know if I’ve ever HEARD of a cis male or cis female posing as a transgender in order to gain access to the opposite sex’s bathroom to abuse someone. EVER. People just want to go in, use the bathroom, and get the fuck out. I can’t tell you how many public restrooms I’ve been in and I don’t think I have ever feared for my safety.

      When I have feared for my safety, as a woman, is when I’m walking to my car at night after the movies or dinner by myself and am scared that someone could jump out from between cars in a parking lot and grab me and assault me, or drive by in a larger car and pull me in and take me to a second location to do God knows what. I’ve feared for my safety when I had a boss sexually harass me and NOBODY believed me. I’m scared for my girlfriends who have had the same experiences. I was taught growing up to always watch my drink at a party or at a bar (no matter how small the party or how dead the bar was) in case a man decided to slip a drug into my drink so they could take advantage of me later on. These are EVERY DAY SAFETY CONCERNS that women think about and deal with every. single. day. And yet why aren’t you voicing your concerns about that? Why are you focused on a bathroom situation?

      I really could give a shit who pees in the stall next to me and I can tell you a lot of other people feel the same way.

      Instead of being so hung up on a bathroom situation, you should realize that the majority of people who rape or assault or molest or any of those things are usually done by people the victim already knows (I was molested when I was FOUR and it was a neighbor who did it. I went over there to play all the time). I urge you to read first hand accounts from rape and harassment survivors in this country (of all ages). I can guarantee that the vast majority of stories will be centered on victims who already knew their attackers.

      Please educate yourself.

      Liked by 3 people

    3. Urinals don’t sexually assault people. SEXUAL PREDATORS DO.Making another stupid law will not protect anyone. Criminals, predators or burglars Etc. do not carry a list of laws with them. By definition they are there to break the law for their own gain.

      Like

    4. Admit it, they just want in because we have better soap and lotions in there and most women’s rooms don’t reek due to bad aim. That’s the real issue, right?

      Like

  95. I don’t think you can write this claiming people are not involved in the rights of women and children. I happen to be involved . I still don’t agree with Targets policy or any stores policy that allows men and women to use the same restroom. When unirals are placed in what use to be the women’s room, what should I tell my grand-daughters ? I do not feel my 5 yr old grand-daugthers should be exposed to a strangers penis! Transgendered, Homosexual or Heterosexual.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah I saw that picture too, turned out to be a hoax. The women’s room at that Target was being renovated, so they temporarily converted the men’s bathroom into the women’s, that’s why there were big plastic bags over the urinals. The men used the pharmacy bathroom. Men and women will not be using the same bathroom under Target policy. In fact laws like the one in North Carolina would force transgender men to use the women’s room and vice versa

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Really do you think NC is going to stand at restrooms and tell women to lift up their dresses?? If you have truly undergone surgery that has changed your male parts into female parts then all you have to do is go and have your birth certificate changed to female, because apparently that is what they are now.. No one is going to have a problem with those people in a womens room.. Realistically they can’t go into a mans room any longer.. Yet for those transgenders or cross dressers or even men pretending to be women will not have a right to enter the facility of their choice..You are making this law about more than it is.. Without justification..

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        1. A lot of states don’t LET people change their birth certificate or ID, even if they have had surgery. Seriously, just check out this link to see how different policies can be from state to state: http://www.lambdalegal.org/know-your-rights/transgender/changing-birth-certificate-sex-designations

          (Let’s just leave aside for a moment the fact that, for many trans people, surgery isn’t an option even if they want it – it’s really expensive and most insurance doesn’t cover it. Not that every trans person even has insurance, since job discrimination means that trans people are twice as likely to be unemployed as the general population.)

          Liked by 2 people

    2. Wow, you have really made an exaggeration about this topic. NOBODY is putting urinals in the ladies room. And HB2 does NOTHING to protect anyone. The same sickos who want to do bad things, will do bad things. Nothing is there to stop them. She is saying that there have always been risks but there have also been transgender people in the bathroom with you and you didn’t even know it. They are not the risks. I’m not worried about a trans male in the bathroom with my son and I’m not worried about a trans female who hasn’t had sex reassignment yet, in the bathroom with my daughter. The law is meant to protect her and her counterparts so that she can peacefully go in and use a stall so that nobody will see anything, despite her still having the penis she was mistakenly born with.

      Liked by 3 people

      1. What do you mean the law was meant to protect her? Do you mean the trans woman? I beg to differ. Would that that were the case. It’s not. It is meant to punish, ostracize, coerce, and a bunch of other things. Other than that, I agree with you.

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      1. If that’s the case what’s the fn problem with them using the men’s room??? Guess if they can get into woman’s bathroom it will make them feel more like a woman.

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        1. as a biological female I /have/ used the men’s room. At concerts, at parties, at dance clubs and even at a Target. I didn’t assault anyone or be assaulted by anyone. I just went to the gorram bathroom. And you you realize just how hate-filled your last sentence is. I’m not even christian and I think you need a come to Jesus meeting lady. TRANSSEXUAL means that for what ever reason that person has taken the steps required to identify as the gender they feel SHOULD have been their birth gender. I’ve not met one that would harm anyone. Most of them (and there aren’t that many, they make up a very small percentage of the population. the ones that are out about it anyway) are FAR more scared of you than you should ever be of them. I’d suggest a movie, but you won’t watch it, The lesbian scenes might turn you gay, or less bigoted. Better than Chocolate, is the movie and it depicts a scene that is something that m2f of f2m Trans persons live with daily. and THEY are not the risk. People like you are.

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    3. I am a man and I use the men’s room, and I assure you in my 41 years on this earth that no one in the men’s room is flaunting their penis around. As a matter of fact there is basically silence, they come in and pee, and get out. We don’t have chit-chat in men’s rooms. So while I agree they should go to their own bathrooms, your fears are quite misguided. Go to the family restroom if you are so worried about seeing a random penis in the future.

      Liked by 1 person

  96. It’s not the transgender part that bothers me. It’s that Target has taken it a step further in saying that a heterosexual male can say he identifies himself with women and therefore, can go into the women’s restroom. At least this is what my local Target said to me. If this is the case then they should make their restrooms for a single occupancy.

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    1. Someone is STILL breaking the law if they assault someone in a bathroom. No matter who they are. So, this person that had intent to assault someone now sees this law as their point of opportunity? A few things still have to exist. Say this hetero dude goes in a women’s bathroom with the intent to assault. He picks a time when no one else goes in so there are no witnesses.

      Under those conditions, why would this person’s actions be influenced by a bathroom policy to begin with?

      Liked by 4 people

      1. It would give him an opportunity to linger in the bathroom, the reality is most transgenders have used women bathrooms and most people may have not even know it. But make it a law and it will open up opportunities for a sick man to put on a dress to hang out in women’s bathrooms. It may not happen right away but it will happen. I would bet you on it.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Transgender women don’t just look like men in dresses, sometimes that’s how it is in the beginning but for the most part, they do everything they can to make themselves look as nice as possible and as feminine as possible. A man walking into a bathroom in a dress would look clearly like a man in a costume. And you know men can just go in at any time right? There has never been a bouncer outside making sure people go into the correct bathroom.

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        2. Nope. I was assaulted twice, in two different countries (one being at my own place of employment with lots of people around), by men who didn’t care about a sign on a door and weren’t dressed as anything other than men. They only needed an opportunity, seconds, no “putting on a dress” required, and no law will change that one way or the other.

          Liked by 1 person

      2. At no point have you ever known you were sharing a bathroom with a Trans person. And I’m certain that you have. This has nothing to do with your ‘fear’ for our or our children’s safety and everything to do with the fact that you fear what you don’t understand. As a biologically born female, who plans to stay that way, if the ladies room in full I have and will do so again, walked right across the alcove and used the mens room. Hell, once at a friends wedding after party I had to straddle a urinal while wrestling hose and underwear and a skirt. The few men who wandered in, in that 30 seconds at most of time I was there either said nothing, looked scared of me, or were friendly and thought it was kind of cool I wasn’t scared to just go fucking pee.

        Most Trans people who feel they are ready to switch bathrooms to their preferred gender vs their genetic one, have spent YEARS perfecting the way they walk/talk/move/dress/ and groom. (I dare one of y’all terrified AFA men to even attempt to pull off passable female, when you realize how much work shaving EVERYTHING is and then get to the eyeliner/mascara game, you’d give up.

        She’s right in her blog. I’ve been molested 3 times, BY FAMILY MEMBERS on both sides, and raped 7 as an adult. only 6 of which I even bother to take to the cops. 6 reports, 6 just as violating as the rape, rape kits. at least 48 items of clothing I’ll never get back and 7 men who got away with it, because we’ve been crying out for help for years and YOU guys aren’t listening.

        This isn’t about us or your kids or anyone else’s kids. It’s about your own fear and IMO in the case of the AFA, free publicity.

        So shut up, since you won’t help all of us, haven’t helped any of us over the years and just let people pee any place they choose (you shouldn’t be looking at them anyway, weirdos.

        Thank you for the blog, it’s exactly what I’ve been trying to say for a while now.

        Dia

        Find me @ http://snarkysuccubus.com/
        Help me @ https://www.gofundme.com/diamedical

        Liked by 2 people

    2. Anonymous, read the post again.

      Please stop pretending like you care about women being assaulted by men in the women’s restroom, because you don’t.

      If you had bothered to read the post, or even read what’s been going on in the news, you’d realize that men in dresses assaulting women and children is not, nor has ever been a problem.

      The problem, the actual real life problem, is that the threat, the real live threat to women and children is outside of the women’s restroom, not by men in dresses, but by men, mostly heterosexual men, who are quite comfortable in their gender.

      This is the real life threat to women and children that they face every day, and they’ve been facing this threat for years, and oh, you suddenly care because of the prospect that you might have to share a bathroom with A transsexual/transgendered male?

      Are you not afraid that a male sex offender will take advantage of new bathroom laws to claim he was born female but got a sex change operation?

      Please stop pretending like you even care about women being raped and children molested. Target declared they’re a trans-friendly place, and suddenly you care about rape and child molestation?

      Read this post in its entirety. It asks a very important question.

      Where have you been?

      How is it you suddenly care, where you never gave a damn before?

      Liked by 4 people

      1. The whole point people are trying to make with Target is not the Transgender, the men don’t have to be dressed as a woman, they can freely walk into a Ladies restroom and no one can stop them, with this being the case you don’t think that a rapist or pedifile won’t eventually use this as an opportunity!

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Which is EXACTLY what they could have done and would have done and have done in the past, with or without the law. Period. Predators don’t let laws stop them.

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        2. do you not understand that there was NOTHING stopping men dressed as men could ALWAYS do this. If a predator is hunting, unless we’ve suddenly landed in Silence of the Lambs (and we haven’t) he’s not going to care about your laws or anyone else’s. This is what makes them criminals and predators.

          She right.
          Where were you.
          Where have you been
          Let me show you what happens when you aren’t there, aren’t listening or don’t care.

          This is the story of the little girl who could have been, but never was, and yet still is. Mine may read differently than another girl who went through the same things, but I’ll bet the little girls who could have been are massive in number, and become victims and/or survivors as adult women, who are STILL crying out, Where were you when I/We needed you?

          ” “Julia is the name of a little girl whose mother left her father because she came home and on her 18mos old child she saw an adult male hand print bruised purple on her face “because she wouldn’t fucking shut up.” Julia is the name given to a little girl who’s potential to be anything was taken from her at 2 years old when a grown man tried to shove his cock inside her and then when he couldn’t he used her to rub himself on, multiple times a day,Julia was the name of a little girl who’s first acid trip was at 4 because her mother’s stupid stoned friends didn’t realize LSD passes through skin contact and sweat and to even go pee, she had to wade through them, all of them wanting to touch the “angel” (4 year olds don’t have good acid trips btw) Julia was the name of a little girl who at 5 learned to use a radiant heater to fry eggs and bacon on top without setting the house on fire because none of the adults would get up and there was nothing else. Julia was the name of a little girl who was constantly, hungry, for attention, for affection, for anything so long as she wasn’t abandoned again, because it had happened so many times that she clung to what she could get anywhere she could get it. It was never enough, and was known to whisper in her sleep “please don’t hurt me, I can’t take anymore”‘ followed by ‘please don’t leave me though, I can’t do this alone”(and some days still does.) Julia was a woman who sleeps boxed in with pillows and stuffed animals because her closet is too full to hide in the back of when the monsters still come when she closes her eyes and they don’t make wooden slat toy boxes big enough for her to fit in, because in there she thought she was safe She wasn’t. Julia is what they call this shell that looks so much like what that little girl would have, had she not died, in 1973, at the hands of the people who should have been protecting her and maybe one day, I’ll get her a memorial stone somewhere and inscribe it “Julia, the little girl that could have been.”

          I go by Dia now, because that name I chose, it’s one that no one who’s violated or hurt me has ever used, and that story up there, doesn’t scratch the surface.

          You’re worried about who pee’s where, while day after day uncountable women, men, children and LGBT people are abused, molested, hurt, permanently scarred or killed. If any of the above survive the assault, they’re left like me 43 with ptsd and immune illnesses that can be traced back to the history of abuse.

          You don’t know this or you don’t care and below this line is why.

          BECAUSE YOU HAVEN’T BEEN LISTENING AND THE LOUDER WE CRIED THE LESS YOU HEARD.

          So you were never there. You’re still not.

          Find me @ http://snarkysuccubus.com/
          Help me @ https://www.gofundme.com/diamedical

          Like

      2. I think you are the one not reading the replies… I don’t think anyone is afraid of the Transgendered community… they are afraid of what this law is opening up. It gives privacy for the assaults/rape. You have a lot to say, but you definitely have a listening problem.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. @JKK — Do re-read the posting. When has rape and murder ever been stopped by “privacy”….
          Do check out the statistics of violence and mayhem that women and children have lived under for thousands of years under the Male Entitlement Social System….
          This is just another opportunity for homophobes to promote more hatred, more control of others. Dr. Kris

          Liked by 2 people

      3. How do you know what people care about or protest!? Just because they disagree with you
        on this particular issue doesn’t mean they do
        not care about rape,abuse or any other horrible thing that people do to each other!

        Liked by 2 people

      4. The policy has not been in place long enough to claim it will cause more men to walk into women’s restrooms and assault, however there have been 24 incidents in the news in the last week. I wonder if the numbers are going to go up or if men are just going to decide to hang out in women’s locker rooms, changing rooms and restrooms because they can.

        Liked by 2 people

        1. I’d think, in a well lit, well trafficked public restroom, you’d better buy a book before you go lurk, it’s probably going to be a long boring day, with water flushes and sinks running. Criminals don’t obey the law. So new laws won’t stop them. Go find something else to get in a twist about.

          Liked by 1 person

      1. This is not about transgender women entering a woman’s restroom. its about Target allowing anyone who says they identify as a female to enter the womens restroom.. If you people would pay attention to what is truly going on you would see our need to protect the innocent.. Again the proposal that individual restrooms would do away with the problem for all.. We would all have our safety and privacy we deserve..For some strange reason transgenders don’t like that idea.. We have to ask ourselves why?? What would be your purpose in fighting such a proposal??

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        1. The bathrooms are a mere convenience for the public. Dont want to share one, dont use a public bathroom. Were fighting for all thie privacy In a convenience stores so graciously provide. They dont have to and can allow whoever they wish in those bathrooms. Youre fighting for a privilege, not a right. Go use your own personal bathroom. Problem solved.

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        2. “For some strange reason”
          And with those 4 words you have explained your stance: you believe those who are trans are those who will be predators. It is clear. And it is also wrong.

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        3. That’s dumb. I don’t agree with what he said but for you to choose 4 words to focus on and twist how you please is so counterproductive.

          Liked by 1 person

    3. Target never changed their policy, they just verbalized what has always been. All Targets have unisex bathrooms, so just use that bathroom from now on if you’re truly afraid of a situation that has NOT changed. It was just brought to your attention. But like the author above pointed out, there have been no changes in other states who already do what Charlotte is trying to do. I found the same data in my own research. The law has never made it ok for one person to assault another. Never!

      Liked by 2 people

    4. This objection, the “man claiming to identify as a woman” is based in mainly on a misconception that transgender people are somehow confused and may vary their identity from one day to the next, hence giving cover to a capricious and spurious claim. That isn’t how transgender works. Think about it: a guy does what you say and Target kicks him out, maybe calls the police if he was being especially creepy. What is he going to do about it, sue them? To do that, he has to stand up in court and say “I identify as transgender female”. That will lead to a lot of questions about the nature of that identification. It would make things MORE difficult for the very hypothetical predator if trans people were allowed, even encouraged to live more openly, because spurious claims would be harder to defend. But then, somewhat closer to the point of the article, isn’t the real issue that we believe there is a sizable population of men that would do this, and rather than confront this supposed army of rapists and the culture that breeds them, we want to pick on sexual minorities? Of course the whole “we need to protect the women and children” line has always been a refuge for scoundrels.

      I kind of get the deeper concern that such policies could weaken gender distinctions, making it more difficult to look at someone and tell which gender they are. I wish this would be stated more openly, so that we could discuss it more honestly. Scientifically, the cues we use to tell the gender of other people are more subtle than we things, and more culturally variant. With pre-adolescents we often resort to conventions of color or dress, and that sometimes is the case with adults. Everyone has met people who, like “Pat” from the old SNL sketch, are visually somewhere in the middle. Counter-intuitively, the transgender do not weaken these conventions, but utilize and reinforce them.
      Ultimately, we live in a free society where people can mostly look and dress how they choose. There are risks involved in that, and sometimes you won’t always be comfortable. Somehow we are willing to allow the crazies to arm themselves in the name of Freedom, but draw the line at letting anyone who kinda looks female into the Ladies’ Room.

      Disclaimer: I am cisgender hetero male ally. I may speak up for my friends, but I do not speak for them.

      Liked by 3 people

      1. They go through such intense psychological tests just to avoid the very situation we’re (general we) casting them in now. To see if they really are trans, to see if they can mentally handle living as their preferred gender. By the time they start using public restrooms, pre or post operation. Most of us wouldn’t (and probably already haven’t) even noticed. People think they have a reason to be scared of them? This a whole group of people, who do count as equally as you or I would being cis-gendered, who are TERRIFIED of us. Of not just rejection by people at Target but quite a few don’t have any family to fall back on for emotional support.
        more people should try being an ally and less of an asshole. Life would be better.

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    5. I agree transgenders have been free to use any bathroom they want and they know that too, if they don’t bother anyone they won’t even be noticed. But to pass a law that permits a man to use the ladies room depending on how he feels about himself with no exceptions, leaves the innocent at risk and the evil in control.Ladies bathrooms have always been a draw for the pervert and evil minded, who don’t go there for innocent bodily functions, but to prey on the weak. If target cares about all their customers let them make individual stalls, Before someone gets hurt. It will save them money in the long run and be a good promotion for their ‘good will’ if that’s what it truly is about. Until then I will shop elsewhere. I have enough to worry about, and my grandkids always seem to need to use the restroom when we shop.

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      1. Go ahead to Walmart. Because there won’t be a man hiding in the bathroom there to assault your grandchildren because predators will always follow rules….Oh wait……

        My friend’s daughter was assaulted in a Walmart bathroom. By a man. In the ladies room. Not in a dress, not trying to pretend he is female. No by a man who just walked right in and hid. He came out and mugged her.

        This happens sometimes, not as often as you nutbars believe, but when it does, people are not dressed as other genders, ever.

        Liked by 2 people

    6. Also, may I mention, as it may help you in other discussions of this nature, that sexuality and transgenderism are not related. You use the term ‘heterosexual’ as if it is the opposite of trans when that is not the case. There are trans folks who are straight and trans folks who are gay and probably every shade between and beyond that as well. Exactly the same as in the non-trans (e.g cis, short for cis-gender which is the actual opposite of trans-gender) folks.

      Liked by 2 people

  97. Thank you so much for sharing, I couldn’t of said it better. I pray that your voice and this article reaches us all loving and concern parents to stand and support. Regaining a piece of sanity to those that have lost it. I thank you for sharing, for being such strong, involved mother and concern. You do not worry to much, is love for your kids that drive you. There should be more woman like you.

    Liked by 1 person

  98. I see both sides of the point. I see the concern over the PC BS which I’m sick of and I understand the validity of the argument that otherwise with so many other issues no one’s said a word or done much about it.

    I remember a time when if a little boy or girl wanted to buy a boy or girl toy you just bought it. You didn’t need a special aisle or a ungendered aisle you just buy the shit you want end of story. There are some things that as a parent I’ll be honest when I say I don’t want to explain to my barely 5 year old. In due time, yes we can address issues like this when she can both understand and if it opens a flood gate of other questions shes more capable of understanding.

    For now, I like to keep it G and tell her things like accept everyone even if they don’t look like you, everyone is different and beautiful. Don’t stare at people if they have something different that’s not nice because their a person just like you. I like it that way because after all she’s only 5.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I don’t want to convince you to change the way you’re raising your child – quite the opposite in fact – but if you’re sick of acceptance, fairness, decency, and understanding of both people and facts about human psychology (or “PC BS” as you put it) why are you raising your child to accept it?

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      1. My direct issue is with the fact that everyone’s offended. Offended by coffee cups, bathrooms etc. I understand the term reasonable accommodations but it gets to a point where it’s ridiculous. In not teaching my daughter to be an asshole hence why I do teach her to love and respect others of their differences. Again the issue is with the constant crutch needing. Can’t call a holiday show a holiday or a Christmas show because I’m offended, call it winter display. That’s not ridiculous? I think it is. How have we been managing before we could whine and cry about Christmas and its offenses is beyond me.

        Liked by 1 person

  99. If I don’t want to purchase products from a store who has clearly made a statement that is not in agreement with who I am as a person then that is my choice. where were you when the blood of my ancestors paid dearly for my freedom??

    Liked by 1 person

  100. If I’m not mistaken, you used the “pro transgender bathroom” a start off parable almost stating the fact that they aren’t the problem, a person has equal chance of getting abused in either bathroom, but making the point of many other atrocities that occur in the nation (and throughout the world actually), that people “sit back and watch” rather than doing anything about.
    Like the gun issue, a little bg check is by far virtually nothing (as far as control)
    the rape thing, etc.
    As one who does boycott such isues, probably not in the same way, you did bring some good points across I have to say.

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  101. Oh wow. You can’t hear this, but I’m stamping my feet and cheering for you. Loudly. And then I’m gonna go post this to my social media accounts, ’cause I think everyone should read it.

    Liked by 1 person

  102. This is why the MAJORITY of Americans will be voting for Trump. He is NOT politically correct. We are sick to death of political correctness. We will most likely have a person as the President of the United States for the next for 4 years mainly because he is not a politician and does not give a care about who he offends. It’s right down scary to think all this PC crap may be the reason we have a POTUS who is Donald Trump.

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  103. “I’m not under any obligation to respect their beliefs” Exactly! That is why so many people who do not agree with Target’s position are exercising their rights to shop where ever they choose. This is an issue that would have never crossed my mind until it was in my face via the media. I do not look under the stalls to see which way the shoes are pointed! I believe everyone has the right to make decisions about the path they take in life. I have the right to my beliefs. I am not a homophobe or hater of individuals because of their choices. Stop hating me because I choose to live my life as God intended. Oh No! There it is . . . “God” I could care less about your comments on this . . . . once God is introduced in my thoughts, there will be more haters towards me and my beliefs. Remember . . . I’m not under any obligation to respect your beliefs either. What are you so afraid of? Probably the same things I fear as a Christian . . . . accountability for my actions. Life is not easy, no matter what path you choose.

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  104. Wow. Regardless of where you stand on an issue, what a poignant question. Where were you when countless women and men were crying out against rape and assault? When there are people who are AFRAID of their partner, sometimes even terrified to run (75% of domestic violence related deaths occur while the abused is trying to leave)? Where was the concern then?

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  105. Why are you ASSUMING I wasn’t standing up for these injustices? This is just one situation that is in my control to do something. Writing letters to district attorneys and signing petitions has been my practice so the attitude you have is wrong towards boycotting Target. Proactive is something I can do daily when I need to shop. Don’t assume anything! Did YOU do anything for the situations you mentioned?

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  106. Every issue and movement has a watershed moment. All of the incidents that you discussed were not national news, we’re not talked about in my region and are not something I search outt. This was the street, enough is enough. The pc mentality has gone too far and people are sick of it. So this isn’t about whether the boycotted would be outraged at the events in this article it’s about the end of the line. Finally a stand must be taken, I am taking that stand with my dollars.

    Based on 2010 census estimates there are approximately 24k Trans people in America and as of 2016 804k registered sex offenders. The risk exists whether you want to admit it or not. All of this hoopla over 24k people in this country. When does the pc, make everyone happy mentality end.

    And so there is no confusion for the trolls and uneducated people out there. The incidents in this article are horrifying and deserve as much or more support as is being given to the target boycott.

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  107. The. Whole world should change because of a few people . Hey america can you cater to my needs also?? Any of you that don’t like it are full of hate. Haha Just to sit back and watch these people in this country is unbelievable. I hope we don’t get into a war BC we sure as heck don’t stand up for what we believe in.

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  108. Reblogged this on Life is for Living and commented:
    I don’t live in the USA but I have been following this story and believe there are some valid points being raised in this post. I wouldn’t say however that people have been totally silent in important issues … maybe just not as vocal as they probably could have been, especially when viewed against this particular backdrop. What do you think? Don’t let your silence be deafening. Leave a comment and continue the conversation.

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